15 Years.....and I still think he's awesome!!

Today, Beau and I celebrate 15 years of marriage, 17 years of friendship, and a family comprised of 4 boys.  We met in Gainesville while we were both attending University of Florida.  He and I both were in separate relationships, so we became friends.  He was a tenant with 3 other roommates in the apartment complex where I was the assistant manager.  He was Pre-Med and I was Business Management.  We were complete opposites and a very unlikely couple.  But as our friendship grew and our current relationships fell apart, Beau and I discovered our friendship was turning into much more.  He went on to change his major and graduate and I, well, left school without graduating and began my career in real estate.  I moved back to Orange Park while he finished up his degree.  Since we were living in towns about an hour apart, our new relationship was long distance, only seeing each other on the weekends.   But it worked.  As with most couples, we have seen our share of unity and also division.  But with each season, good or bad, we make it to the other side with a deeper appreciation for one another and a lesson from God. 

In our years together, we came to accept Christ as our Lord and Savior, learned to appreciate the joy and fear of Zander's birth, the loss of his beloved mother, experienced fostering children, had the blessing of adopting 3 children (one privately and two through foster care), survived 9 months apart while he accepted a new job in New England and I stayed behind to complete our final adoption, made it through a dark time last winter as I was adjusting to a new life, learned to make personal sacrifices for the good of the family, figured out what true communication means, became satisfied with the simpler things, and have accepted our circumstances. 

Lauren Palombo (maid of honor), Kristen Henderson (bridesmaid), Kim Bennett (sister-in-law and bridesmaid)

As sure as I was walking down the aisle on our wedding day that Beau was the right man for me, I am even more confident now.  I'm not blind, though.  As I have watched numerous marriages around me fall apart, marriages that were strong and loving, it always makes me sad.  I know that being married and staying married takes work and dedication from both parties.  It is easy to be married through the good times.  But the hard times?  It is during these tough times that the work and dedication become vital.  I am not a marriage expert and certainly will never claim to be.  I am just thankful that I have a husband that knows how to be selfless, patient, knows when to laugh, knows when to be serious, listens when I need him to, and "fixes" my problem when necessary. 

I realize that we have many more years, God willing, to weather more seasons of our marriage.  I look forward to those.

(Sorry for all the flash spots on the pictures.  I took a picture of these photos from my scrapbook)

In the meantime, the things that I totally love about Beau and our marriage together are:

1.   I love it that we can be silly, transparent, vulnerable, and serious with each other

2.   We still chase each other around the house and act like we did when we first got married

3.   I dig his graying hair

4.   To this day, the man won't wear sandals and it doesn't annoy me anymore

5.   He is a true leader of our home.  He leads with compassion, conviction, and love

6.   He is NEVER too busy for his boys

7.   We still go to bed at the same time together- no matter how late or early

8.   He calls me Missy and I love it

9.   He saves his best stuff for me (silliness)

10. He is a great handyman

11. He is the vomit cleaner-upper

12. He is in charge of helping the kids with their science and math homework

13. Regardless of my current mood, he is calm, patient, and rational

14. He knows me better than I know myself, and still likes me

15. I feel safe when I am with him

16. He eats my dinners even when they have "gone wrong"

17. He can tell by my voice on the phone when he needs to just pick up something for dinner for the family because I am obviously in no mood to cook

18. He occasionally takes the kids out so I can clean the house

19. Our family is his 1st priority

20. He is quiet and always deep in thought....but he shares his thoughts with only me

21. I used to hate Star Wars, but now I can name all the characters (even the remote ones)

22. He gets a little smirk on his face when he is winning a game (I secretly adore that even though I pretend to be mad)

23. He is quiet, but when he speaks, it's meaningful

24. He is kind, humble, and considerate

25. He is a good provider and is a hard, honest worker

26. His quirkiness is cute, his smile is endearing, and his heart is tender


Beau, I know this is way too mushy for your liking.  But, this is a tribute to you, our marriage, and our family.  I love you always. 

I ruthlessly creamed Beau with our wedding cake.  Sorry babe. 

Happy 15th Anniversary to my one true love.  

Missy

Christmas Tree in the middle of the Kitchen? Really?

It is kind of neat how things, a year later, are funny when originally they were not!  Last Christmas, we had a very unusual event occur regarding our Christmas tree.  As I have eluded to in other blogs, last winter, I was not quite myself.  My Christmas spirit had been drained.  Telling the boys to stop touching the tree had become a phrase of the day (or of the hour, really).  Last year was the first year that the boys (all 3 of the little ones) were super excited about Christmas, the tree, the sparkly lights, and the ornaments.  However, they did not all possess the finesse yet to handle these things with the necessary delicacy required.  Between me missing home, not feeling connected in New Hampshire yet, Beau working endless hours, and the boys touching the tree more times than I can even count, I had enough. 

Parents, I strongly urge you not to threaten outlandish punishments unless you are willing to follow through.  Better yet, don't even threaten anything over the top because the follow through sucks.  That is one thing that Beau and I have always tried to do as parents....follow through and keeping our word.  At times that has been so hard and we have felt punished in the process.  We have missed parties, play dates, and other events in order to follow through with a threatened punishment.  But these lessons must be taught and learned. 

Well, with my frustration brewing, my patience ceasing, and my dark cloud looming, I did it.  I made the epic parental mistake.  I threatened the dumbest thing.  I said, "The next person that touches that tree, I am going to take it down."  I literally dangled the ball of string.  They couldn't help but touch the tree ONE MORE time.  But this time, it was done looking right at me with a smile on his face.  I can not remember which angelic little boy it was that time (although, I do have my suspicions), but I remember my blood boiling.

In a matter of seconds, I leaped to my feet, placed my hand somewhere in the middle of the tree, and dragged that thing across my living room, tree stand and all!  Ornaments were falling off, kids eyes were growing bigger with each inch that I dragged it, and I was huffing and puffing.  It's much harder dragging a fully decorated tree with the tree stand on than I would have ever imagined!!!  With the cling and clang of the ornaments bumping into each other, my stomping, the sound of the tree stand as it was being dragged on the carpet, and the boys' cries, it was loud and probably a ridiculous sight.  I made it to the kitchen and swiftly laid the tree down right in the middle of the floor.  It laid on the ground diagonally, taking up much of my entire kitchen.  I had three little boys standing next to the tree with tears streaming down their faces.  And yes, I felt bad.  But I warned them.  Now, for those of you that are reading this blog but have little knowledge of me and my interactions with my children, please do not fear.  I am normally a very patient mom with tons of mercy and nurturing.  So, no need to contact child protective services.....I promise. 

Well, now here I was with a silly Christmas tree laying on my kitchen floor.  Now what?  I had to maintain my authority, so I WAS NOT going to put it back up in the living room.  So the only logical thing to do was to keep it there.  We had to step over the tree every time we wanted to gain access to the refrigerator or get to the sink.  I was not too worried, though, because I just knew that when Beau got home he would rectify this situation.  He's so good at remedying all of our dysfunctional situations.  He's just like that. 

But Beau arrived home that evening without having prior knowledge of the incident.  I hadn't had the opportunity nor the guts to tell him.  The look on his face when he entered the kitchen truly made my heart sink.  In complete puzzlement, he asked what anyone would ask in that situation.  "Why is our Christmas tree laying in the middle of the kitchen?"  I then explained to him the situation expecting him to understand.  He was silent.  He kept looking at the tree.  My husband is logical, rational, patient, realistic, analytical, and able to think separately from his emotions.  He continued to study the tree, walking around it a couple of times.  Still not speaking.  He finally concluded that while I had removed the tree, I had managed to dislodge the lights and some of the intricate central plugs in the middle of the tree.  This wasn't necessarily a hard fix, but a time-consuming one.  He finally spoke, but only to inform me that he was NOT going to fix the tree.  Beau is not a vindictive, stubborn, dig your heels in kind of a guy.  In fact he is a problem solver.  So this reaction from him was completely shocking. 

He was a little irritated with me (well, a lot) and I was stubborn (shocking, I know).  So the tree stayed in the middle of our kitchen for 3 days.  We had to keep stepping over it.  In fact, it was so close to the refrigerator, we had to contort our bodies in just the right angle in order to get something from the inside of the fridge.  Yes, we were both too stubborn to move the tree just 3 inches in either direction to gain full access to the fridge.  The boys had resigned themselves to the fact that Santa would just have to bring the presents to the kitchen.  Pitiful, yes. 

Finally after the 3rd day, Beau being the bigger person, griped and grumbled and fixed the tree.  This year, the boys have not touched the tree.  William, however, asked how long the tree was going to remain in the living room.

Cami and I were reliving this memory today over the phone, and she suggested that I blog about it.  I now can laugh about that fallen tree.  But most of all, I will be more careful about my threats.  I hope this quick story made you laugh. 

Have a Merry Christmas