Christmas, New Years, and Reflections

Well, we closed out 2012 with a bang.  This year has seen it's share of ups and downs, triumphs and failures,  family closeness and family bickering, blessings and fears.  But I am sure most people can say the same thing about their 2012.  It's always nice to start off a new year because everything feels new, like a clean slate.  The best of intentions are put in motion (like eating healthy, working out, being more financially cautious, saving money, being more patient, being more globally aware....pick one).  You have a whole new 12 months of memories to make and all the worries belong to the year past.  Things feel fresh and the year begins with a large feeling of hope.  And don't we all need a little hope?  Faith? 

We got past Thanksgiving and we went directly into the Christmas season.  Santa completed 90% of his shopping on Black Friday so the remaining gifts were shopped for and purchased with no stress.  The boys of course visited with Santa and that was amazingly easy this year.  We timed it so perfectly, obviously a God thing, because we literally had no wait to see Santa.  We walked right into the roped off area and there was not a single person in line.  We had no crying boys, no scared boys, and no impatient boys.  Success.  This was the first year that Zander refused to be in the picture.  At least in the past, he would tolerate being in the photo because he knew how important it was to me.  Plus, we were able to convince him that he "helped" the boys stay settled for the picture.  I guess he's too old now to fall for that excuse again. 

Beau sent me down to Florida for a couple of days, ALL BY MYSELF.  He is so good to me.  I had a couple of quiet and low key days with my family.  I even got a chance to spend some time with my best friend and participate in her annual cookie decorating event.  I really missed my boys back home, but I learned that I severely needed this down time.  I had no responsibilities, no schedules, and time to actually complete my thoughts.  I also had a chance to catch up with a good friend who is a foster and adoptive mom like myself.  I always enjoy time with her.  She is a licensed therapist and I always learn so much from her each time we talk.  I was sad that I didn't have time to see everyone during this quick trip, but I purposefully used this time to rejuvenate.  I appreciated being hosted and pampered. 
Will and Ollie had a Polar Express day at school and got to wear their pajamas.  Of course, Carter had to wear his pajamas too. 

William sang and recited his memorized verse in front of our church during the Christmas Eve service.  I was so proud of him and I think he was proud of himself.  However, he was not happy about being dressed in a vest.  He thought he looked silly and I had to convince him how handsome he was.  Apparently he was so embarrassed by his vest, he refused to take off his jacket when he was on stage in front of the congregation.  Oh well, I still thought he was cute!

We had a nice Christmas this year and each boy was pleased with their "stash".  Legos were a big item around here and every time I step on one of those things, I truly wonder why Santa brought them.  I find Legos all around the house and have even found them in the refrigerator.  Sebulba, for those Star Wars fans, was the most active Lego.  He was found in every corner of our house.  He took a ride on the ice cream sandwiches in the freezer and he was found sitting on top of the bathroom faucet.  I do not know the rationale behind Sebulba's journey.  For my gift, I received a much desired Big Shot which is an embossing/die cutting machine.  So now, I am actually making up reasons to make cards.  I love making crafts and scrap booking, so this little device will get plenty of use.  We had a White Christmas, although it was so minimal it was melted by lunch time.  But it was nice to wake up to a little bit of white.  That was our first ever White Christmas. 

 
Every year, Beau's company has a shut down where they are closed for business.  This year, however, between how the holidays fell and the shut down was scheduled, Beau had a consecutive 17 days off.  He and I took turns sleeping in each day and that was truly awesome.  We rarely get to sleep in.  We ate brunches most days around noon.  We giggled that it was a money saving approach because on the large brunch days, we only ate 2 meals.  Ha.  We spent many days in our pajamas and enjoying NO AGENDA.  In fact, the boys had to go back to school before Beau had to go  back to work.  So he and I (and Carter) had a nice and kind of quiet lunch at Olive Garden one afternoon.  Nothing is ever really quiet with Carter around, unless he's asleep!!!  Carter is our loud and busy one. 

We did finally receive some substantial snow and I was able to get some experience driving in it.  Basically, snow is fun to play in, sled in, and build snowmen in.  However, driving, slipping, falling down on the ice, not being able to see the lines on the road, keeping up with everyone's snow gear......not so fun.  It drives me crazy if all the gloves and mittens are not matched up.  If we have a lone mitten, no rest for me until it's found.  I'm just like that.

In Florida, we always brought in the New Year's with our friends.  We would host a small gathering of our closest friends and have a game night while ringing in the New Year.  This was always so much fun.  I learned that I love Cranium, but I stink at the charades part.  I learned who can hum songs and who can't.  I have learned what family to NOT challenge in trivia.  I have learned just how competitive some of us are.  But mostly, I learned that I love those families in Florida and I miss them dearly.  However, the past two years, it has just been our little family.  That has been nice too.  We save that night for snacky foods for dinner and movies.  This year, Carter made it to 9:30 until he fell asleep in my arms.  Will and Ollie made it to 10pm.  Then Zander, Beau and I stayed up until 2am.  Of course, no matter how late the little guys went to bed, they are still up early the next morning.  Sigh!!
On New Year's Day, we went sledding.  The boys, big and small, enjoyed that.  Who wouldn't!  We went to the soccer fields at the elementary school near our home and had the entire field to ourselves for a couple of hours.  It was so cold and the wind was blowing hard, but we had fun.  The snow was just deep enough for good sledding and not too deep to lose a boy in.  None of the kids had any trouble or fears about sledding.  In fact, if we turned our back for even a second, Carter would steal the sled and ride down.  He was funny to watch because he had a huge grin on his face the whole way down.  Even when he did a face plant into the snow, he still greeted us with a grin. 

Reviewing this past year, I am thankful that our family is together.  I have come full circle and I am enjoying the small things now.  I celebrate even the smallest of triumphs because sometimes that is all there is.  With the fiscal cliff looming over us, the economy being a wreck, jobs no longer being secure, and the constant chaos of running a household full of boys, there is much to feel anxious about.  So yes, the small things have to count for much now.  They probably should have all along. 

Philippians 4:6-7  Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Triumphs of 2012:

**  Zander is working independently on his homework and showing some signs of maturity
**  William, although initially behind because of our move, is now ready for Kindergarten
**  Oliver gave up his passo (pacifier) just after his 4th birthday
**  Carter shows signs of compassion (sharing, hugging brothers when they have boo-boos)
**  Our family is finally working together again as a single unit and not as 6 bickering, selfish
       individuals (I was probably the biggest bickering selfish component)
**  I am no longer in the depths of despair
**  Oliver is showing some serious improvements with small changes made in our parenting
      approach
**  Beau and I have a financial plan and we are working toward goals
**  William is asking a lot of great questions about God and says he wants to know HIM
**  Now, all 4 boys pray during dinner and at bedtime (and they are so precious)
**  Oliver will wear a button down shirt sometimes and was willing to have his picture taken during
       school "retakes"
**  We survived all 4 boys playing soccer at the SAME time
**  We can all go play outside without the 3 little boys "scattering"
**  Will is getting used to the colder weather and no longer requires carrying a blanket with him
      everywhere he goes
**  We went on our first hike and we finished with the same number of people that began the hike
**  Everyone can now dress themselves (almost entirely) in their own winter gear
**  I have set aside a ton of things for our next garage sale
**  I only fell down the stairs one time
**  Everyone is out of a booster seat at the dinner table
**  We flew to and from Florida and we were never asked to exit the plane due to crying/screaming
      children
**  We made it through Sea World and didn't lose anyone and even managed to have a good time
**  Our Christmas tree remained in tact for the entire season....never once did I desire to lay it on the
      kitchen floor
**  I have an entire organizational system for our winter stuff and we currently have a match for
      every mitten
**  We have a job, a roof over our heads, food on the table, and God at the head....everything else is
      the small stuff
**  We survived 2012, despite our failures

Here's to 2013......can't wait to see where it leads us.

Christmas Tree in the middle of the Kitchen? Really?

It is kind of neat how things, a year later, are funny when originally they were not!  Last Christmas, we had a very unusual event occur regarding our Christmas tree.  As I have eluded to in other blogs, last winter, I was not quite myself.  My Christmas spirit had been drained.  Telling the boys to stop touching the tree had become a phrase of the day (or of the hour, really).  Last year was the first year that the boys (all 3 of the little ones) were super excited about Christmas, the tree, the sparkly lights, and the ornaments.  However, they did not all possess the finesse yet to handle these things with the necessary delicacy required.  Between me missing home, not feeling connected in New Hampshire yet, Beau working endless hours, and the boys touching the tree more times than I can even count, I had enough. 

Parents, I strongly urge you not to threaten outlandish punishments unless you are willing to follow through.  Better yet, don't even threaten anything over the top because the follow through sucks.  That is one thing that Beau and I have always tried to do as parents....follow through and keeping our word.  At times that has been so hard and we have felt punished in the process.  We have missed parties, play dates, and other events in order to follow through with a threatened punishment.  But these lessons must be taught and learned. 

Well, with my frustration brewing, my patience ceasing, and my dark cloud looming, I did it.  I made the epic parental mistake.  I threatened the dumbest thing.  I said, "The next person that touches that tree, I am going to take it down."  I literally dangled the ball of string.  They couldn't help but touch the tree ONE MORE time.  But this time, it was done looking right at me with a smile on his face.  I can not remember which angelic little boy it was that time (although, I do have my suspicions), but I remember my blood boiling.

In a matter of seconds, I leaped to my feet, placed my hand somewhere in the middle of the tree, and dragged that thing across my living room, tree stand and all!  Ornaments were falling off, kids eyes were growing bigger with each inch that I dragged it, and I was huffing and puffing.  It's much harder dragging a fully decorated tree with the tree stand on than I would have ever imagined!!!  With the cling and clang of the ornaments bumping into each other, my stomping, the sound of the tree stand as it was being dragged on the carpet, and the boys' cries, it was loud and probably a ridiculous sight.  I made it to the kitchen and swiftly laid the tree down right in the middle of the floor.  It laid on the ground diagonally, taking up much of my entire kitchen.  I had three little boys standing next to the tree with tears streaming down their faces.  And yes, I felt bad.  But I warned them.  Now, for those of you that are reading this blog but have little knowledge of me and my interactions with my children, please do not fear.  I am normally a very patient mom with tons of mercy and nurturing.  So, no need to contact child protective services.....I promise. 

Well, now here I was with a silly Christmas tree laying on my kitchen floor.  Now what?  I had to maintain my authority, so I WAS NOT going to put it back up in the living room.  So the only logical thing to do was to keep it there.  We had to step over the tree every time we wanted to gain access to the refrigerator or get to the sink.  I was not too worried, though, because I just knew that when Beau got home he would rectify this situation.  He's so good at remedying all of our dysfunctional situations.  He's just like that. 

But Beau arrived home that evening without having prior knowledge of the incident.  I hadn't had the opportunity nor the guts to tell him.  The look on his face when he entered the kitchen truly made my heart sink.  In complete puzzlement, he asked what anyone would ask in that situation.  "Why is our Christmas tree laying in the middle of the kitchen?"  I then explained to him the situation expecting him to understand.  He was silent.  He kept looking at the tree.  My husband is logical, rational, patient, realistic, analytical, and able to think separately from his emotions.  He continued to study the tree, walking around it a couple of times.  Still not speaking.  He finally concluded that while I had removed the tree, I had managed to dislodge the lights and some of the intricate central plugs in the middle of the tree.  This wasn't necessarily a hard fix, but a time-consuming one.  He finally spoke, but only to inform me that he was NOT going to fix the tree.  Beau is not a vindictive, stubborn, dig your heels in kind of a guy.  In fact he is a problem solver.  So this reaction from him was completely shocking. 

He was a little irritated with me (well, a lot) and I was stubborn (shocking, I know).  So the tree stayed in the middle of our kitchen for 3 days.  We had to keep stepping over it.  In fact, it was so close to the refrigerator, we had to contort our bodies in just the right angle in order to get something from the inside of the fridge.  Yes, we were both too stubborn to move the tree just 3 inches in either direction to gain full access to the fridge.  The boys had resigned themselves to the fact that Santa would just have to bring the presents to the kitchen.  Pitiful, yes. 

Finally after the 3rd day, Beau being the bigger person, griped and grumbled and fixed the tree.  This year, the boys have not touched the tree.  William, however, asked how long the tree was going to remain in the living room.

Cami and I were reliving this memory today over the phone, and she suggested that I blog about it.  I now can laugh about that fallen tree.  But most of all, I will be more careful about my threats.  I hope this quick story made you laugh. 

Have a Merry Christmas