Showing posts with label Zander. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Zander. Show all posts

Sunday, July 24, 2016

Thumbs Only Get in the Way

Catch a ball.  Tie shoes.  Monkey bars.  Write.  Open a lid from a jar.  Button a shirt.  When Zander was born, these were all the things that flashed in my head that he would not be able to do.  Being born with only 4 fingers on each hand and no opposable thumbs, I was certain that Zander would lead a very limited life.  I knew there would be a life full of accommodations in his future.  In our house, we gave out high fours instead of high fives.  Zander was never a thumb sucker.  He would never be able to hitch hike (this is certainly a positive thing).  I have a tendency to be pretty pessimistic rather than seeing the glass half full kind of a girl.  Thankfully, Beau is the exact opposite.  My all time favorite story about Beau's sense of humor regarding his son's missing thumbs was when Zander was about 6 months old.  We were at the mall and Zander was in the stroller.  I was a few feet away shopping, but I was close enough and could hear and see the whole interaction.  This sweet little old lady came over and began to sing the "This little piggy went to market" song using Zander's fingers.  Halfway through the song, she realized she was going to run out of piggies before the song was over, and she just sang "Hmmmm" in an uncomfortable humming sound.  I wanted to save her and have a conversation, but Beau wanted to see her reaction so he left her hanging.  She quickly grabbed her shopping bags and almost ran away.  To this day, Beau and I laugh about that.


One thing that I did not count on was Zander's stubbornness, determination, and deep competitive streak.  These have all worked in his favor, even the stubbornness (sometimes).  Zander has always had a great sense of humor about his hands, even as a small child.  He got that from Beau.  I was very sensitive about the situation, but Beau taught Zander from an early age to not only accept his beautiful hands, but to embrace them.  To this day, Zander would tell you that the missing thumbs is a great conversation starter.  He has never shied away from this topic.....ever.  He will be the first to make a joke, thereby, putting others at ease.  One summer during scout camp, he went to the nurse's station and had covered his hands in cloths and filled them with ketchup to look like blood.  He then proceeded to explain to the nurse that he had lost his thumbs.  She was horrified, but he was quite satisfied with his humor.

When he was learning to write as a little guy, his teacher wanted him to use a special pencil gripper.  Zander graciously tried, but it didn't take him long to decide that he didn't want anything that would differentiate him from his fellow classmates.  He worked harder, but he taught himself to write using a normal pencil like everyone else.  His hand gets tired very quickly because of the grip he has to use when writing, but he was never deterred.  When playing on the playground, Zander quickly became the fastest monkey bar user.  He could beat all his classmates.  He would joke saying that he didn't have thumbs to get in his way.  He did this all because someone told him that he shouldn't use the monkey bars because he may fall.


In kindergarten, his teacher challenged each of the students to tie their shoes.  There was some kind of treat for the students that could accomplish this challenge (although I can't remember now what that was).  Up until this time, Zander had not been able to tie his shoes.  But this competition was all he needed to spur him on.  Later on, in about 3rd or 4th grade, Zander was involved in an OT program at his elementary school.  Zander always struggled to use scissors.  Cutting on the line proved to be a very difficult task.  His OT purchased him some special spring loaded scissors to assist him with his cutting skills.  Zander tried using them, but again, he was being singled out and therefore would not use them.  He did go on to learn to cut with more precision.  He worked hard on that skill.  However, his determination was not so much for his own gain, but more to prove others wrong.


Zander was very active with gymnastics and was quite good.  Once he got a little older, he joined an all boys gymnastics class where he would be using the uneven bars and rings.  The Russian teacher was just sure that Zander shouldn't be in this class and could get hurt.  I assured him that he would be fine, and sure enough, Zander excelled.  In fact, I think he was a little faster due to not having to manipulate his thumbs for the turning.






When he was in middle school, the school counselor thought it would be a good idea for Zander to learn to use the Dragon Speech computer program that would translate his spoken words into typed format. Being respectful, Zander obliged.  However, to this day, he still has never used this program.   Remember the not being singled out thing?

I am proud of Zander's determination.  I have always told him that his only handicap in life would be his own attitude.  I know that God has gifted Zander with many things that help him overcome his hands.  He is quite intelligent.  He has long fingers and a strong grip.  Zander may have to sometimes try a little harder or work a little smarter, but he always manages to figure things out.  When I can't open a jar of pickles or pry open the lid to the juice container, he is my go to guy.

Now, he has a job at a local grocery store chain where he is a bagger and a cashier. Customers are always commenting about how quick and efficient he is whether he is bagging or ringing up groceries.  This past week, the grocery store held a bagging contest.  In this contest, the baggers had to bag groceries the fastest, according to the store's rules, and distribute the weight as evenly as possible.  Zander won this contest.  Apparently, whoever wins this local contest will go on to a district level contest, and then to national.  Yes, folks.  There will be a national champion bagger sometime this year.  Who knew?  Regardless of how far Zander makes it in this contest, I am proud. Proud that the fastest bagger of the Nashua Hannaford grocery store is none other than my son with no thumbs.  How ironic is that?

For his senior year in high school, he has to take some kind of art/music credit.  He chose guitar.  I am not sure what his instructor is going to think when Zander shows up the first day of class for learn guitar.  I am actually kind of anxious to hear about the reaction.  Boy, would I love to be a fly on that wall.  Zander's sense of humor is endearing.

He recently learned about the "No Hitchhiking" sign in driver's ed.  And of course, he couldn't wait to purchase one of his own to hang in his room.  Ha.  Ha.  This kid cracks me up.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

The Fog is Lifting

Well, it's been a while since my last blog. But so many things are happening, and I am happy to report, good things. The boys are beginning to settle in, Beau and I are finding a routine that works, and our family as a whole is feeling mostly calm again. Is is abundandly obvious that a good dose of family unity was needed. Beau is learning to balance work and family and I am learning to have a little more patience and acceptance. These things combined, and we are doing much better.

Will and Oliver began playing their first season of soccer in September. So that means we have 3 boys playing on 3 different leagues, at 3 different times, and in 3 different locations. This was a tricky feat since Beau and I only make up 2 people. But we managed and the boys enjoyed thier season. Will started off showing no interest in playing. In fact, his favorite part was eating snacks on the sidelines. But as we approach the end of the season, Will has started showing interest in the game (well, with a little bribery from Beau. The kid will do anything for Skittles!).



Oliver, with the exception of a couple of games, has showed serious interest in soccer and we are finding out that he is quite an athlete. That boy shows natural ability and skill on the soccer field and he is so much fun to watch. But the best part is that huge smile on his face as he kicks the ball with such determination. Ollie has a strong leg and an amazingly accurate aim.



Zander, of course, has played soccer since he was 4 years old. This season, he is playing on a league with kids aged 12 to 16. As you can imagine, there is a huge range in skill, size of the kids, and speed. But, I am proud to report that Zander has held his own.

He has dribbled that ball with such agility and precision, he has won out against some of the other older skilled boys on the team. Watching the kids play on this league is so exciting because of the athleticism on the field.

Oliver is finally potty trained. That was a huge feat because he can have a stubborn streak. But when he finally conquered #2 in the potty, which happened to be at a busy restaurant, Oliver came out of the restroom and announced to the entire restaurant that he "pooped in the potty". Strangely enough, I wasn't embarassed. I was so completely proud!!!

There is something quaint about small towns. They have some of the best little festivals and we sure have enjoyed each one of them. We are learning that it doesn't take the big fancy things to impress children. It's the simple things. Take picking out their own pumpkins for starters. We went to a real pumpkin patch recently. The people tending the farm handed us a pair of huge clippers. We actually got to cut our own pumpkin from the vine. Sure beats out the previous pumpkin picking we were used to that consisted of going to a local church and picking out one that was already cut, cleaned, and sitting nicely on a display. We then took the pumpkins home and painted them.



Each boy wanted a different color. My intention was to paint their footprints on each pumpkin and turn them into "friendly ghosts" but the boys lost thier interest soon after painting. They found that rolling down the hill in our front yard was far more fun. Boys!!!!




My best friend, Cami came and visited. Beau took some time off of work so that he could keep the kids and allowed she and I to go play for 4 days. I had an amazing time, but more importantly, I had some much needed girl time.

We are now talking about making this an annual trip!

Things are finally beginning to feel like a family again and we were becoming comfortable. Then, we had an unusual October New England snow storm which left us without power and running water for several days. The boys loved the snow. And surprisingly, Will, liked it the best. They are now pros at sledding down our hill. Our little Carter, we have found out, is a daredevil. We are going to have to watch that kid. We are now taking bets on who will be the first boy to visit the ER. I guess I better find out just where the hospital is located. Hmmm.

During this experience, we got some more bonding time with Beau. Beau was home from work, with no computer (so he couldn't work from home), so he got to give us his complete undivided attention for 5 whole days. It was awesome. We spent time with the kids just snuggling in front of the fireplace.

We talked. We played. We ate our dinners by candlelight. Thank you God for this time we all had together. However, I really thank God for our restored power and running water. I think I like electricity and flushing toilets.

Until next time.......