Oliver's Gotcha Day and Memorial Day Weekend

This was the first weekend in a long time that we didn't have a bunch of obligations like soccer games, birthday parties, shopping for the kids, or whatever else consumes all our time.  We had an open schedule and 4 days together.  On Friday, Will and Ollie got to go on their first field trip and Beau was the parent to take them.  They went to Andres Institute of Art which is located less than 2 miles from our home.  It is about 200 acres of natural surroundings where beautiful sculptures are located.  Although the sculptures were neat and the kids seemed to enjoy them, the most popular thing the kids enjoyed most were the red salamanders that were found throughout their hike.  Normally, Will and Oliver are in different classes and would have attended this field trip on seperate days.  But the teacher allowed them to be in the same class so that Beau could attend.  I just love their little school.  Their teachers have been such blessings to Will and Ollie. 



See how intent he is? 



Saturday, I was awakended early by my eager husband. He decided, at 6:30am that he wanted to go to the Children's Science Museum in Manchester.  Now, I was excited, but I could have waited until at least 7am before he shared his enthusiasm.  Today was an extra special day because it was Oliver's "Gotcha Day".  It was 2 years ago today, May 26 that Oliver officially became a Bennett.  We got everyone fed, dressed, and headed to the museum.  This was a big deal for us because until recently, we didn't go many places without the use of a stroller for Carter.  We were at the museum for over 2 hours (which is totally successful for a 3 yo, a 4 yo, and an almost 5 yo). 

They had so much fun.  It was neat to see their different personalities show through while they experienced each exhibit. 

Zander, of course needed no assistance and he enjoyed everything...even the kiddie area!!!

William enjoyed the robotic arm (he practiced it so long that he even managed to pick up something with the arm) and he also enjoyed the exhibit where he could design his own track and watch the ball race through it. 2

Oliver enjoyed EVERYTHING and took his time totally experiencing every single exhibit.  But his favorite was chasing the Lego train around and around the HUGE Lego replica of old Manchester.  He was very thorough with each new exhibit.  



Excavating Dinosaur Bones



Carter, on the other hand, enjoyed each exhibit for about 1 second.  The young children's area where you could build with blocks, excavate dinosaur fossils, and play in the vegetable garden was Carter's favorite.  So needless to say, we were all on different speeds.  Beau, Zander, and I took turns with each of the 3 littles ones while we let them indulge themselves at each display.  Such a fun time.

You can never have too much of a good thing......LOL

Afterwards, we went to lunch at a Mexican restaurant.  This should be no surprise, because Beau and Zander's absolute favorite food is Mexican.  In fact, they could probably eat that every day of the week.  We had a nice lunch.  Little Carter fell asleep in his high chair.  We obviously wore him out. 

On the way home, we stopped at the store to buy the boys new helmets.  They have begun to ride their bikes way TOO fast that it became necessary for them to wear helmets all the time.  The sun was beginning to go down, the cooler air was setting in, and the boys had such a nice time.  Such a beautiful way to end Oliver's special day.  It is amazing to watch Oliver grow, learn, and flourish. 

 

On Sunday, our family attended a cookout that was hosted by a friend of Will's from preschool.  Their family lives just a few houses down the street from us.  William's friend, Abby, is a little girl that he has followed around since he started school up here.  I hear about Abby EVERY single day.  Beau and I actually considered going to her house the "back way" so that he wouldn't know how to get there because knowing our Will-Will, he is likely to go there on his own one day.  We joked that if Will ever goes missing, we would probably find him at her house. 

We had much needed family time, made lots of new memories, and we are thankful for all the relationships that we are building slowly both through our church and school. 

Braces, Poetry, and all that other stuff.....

Zander has always been an active boy.  He began playing learning games on the computer when he was 3, started reading and playing soccer when he was 4, had a major obsession with Legos and Star Wars when he was 5, loved his gymnastics classes when he was also 5, became interested in video games when he was 6, had a passion for reading (always), loved playing math games (with his dad, and still does) and being on the math team at school.  He began Cub Scouts in 3rd grade and loves camping.  Now he loves Chess and enjoys that club at school.  Some of these interests have come and gone, but some have remained a passion in his life. 

But recently, Zander became interested in poetry.  Now, we always read ALOT to Zander and he loved Dr. Seuss and enjoyed Shel Silverstein, which were simple forms of poetry.  But when his English teacher announced they were going to do a 6 week survey of poetry, he moaned and groaned.  However, as the weeks progressed and as the teacher began reading some poetry to the class, Zander was hooked.  It was so exciting to see a new "spark" in Zander.  It seems to take a lot now to pique his interest.  Zander began writing poems that were meaningful, insightful, and full of emotion.  These are not words that I would have ever used previously to describe Zander.  Not because he doesn't possess these qualities, but because he simply suppressed these emotions.  Anybody that knows Zander knows that he is a "to the point", "everything is black and white", "bottomline", thinker who excels in things like math and science.  Definitely not creative, emotional, and vulnerable.  But I am so thankful that poetry has opened a door to Zander's heart and has allowed him the opportunity to express himself.  We all need a place where we can purge all those thoughts and put them into a beautiful form. 

Yesterday, Zander's English class put together a Poetry Cafe.  Each child in his class presented their own version of creativity, but his teacher hand selected a few students who got to invite their parents.  Zander got to read his own poems and give a short summary of who they are as a poet.  I sat there watching a young man deliver words that were full of passion and emotion.  Needless to say, it made me cry.  It was neat to see him evolve into new territory. 

Another new milestone occured this week...BRACES.  Since Zander's teeth had fully come in, he has been very self-conscious about this smile.  His bottom row of teeth were incredibly crowded, so much so, that he had 2 teeth growing behind the first row of teeth.  It gave him the appearance of have 2 rows of teeth.  Well, the day he had been looking forward to finally came this week.  He had his braces put on and he was truly excited.  I am not foolish, however, because I know that excitment will wear off soon.  Actually, it already has somewhat.  He is still skiddish about eating and how if feels in his sore mouth. But with time, that will wear off.  In 2 years, my already handsome son will have beautiful teeth.  Hopefully he will feel that it was worth it!


Finally got a good one!!



Zander would not open his mouth for the picture, but Will proudly did.  LOL

Mother's Day

As I become older, and hopefully wiser, I continually grow deeper appreciation for the role of a mother.  Being the mom of 4 very individual boys with different sets of personalities and backgrounds, I have had many opportunites to practice patience, learn new parenting skills, and see just how big my heart can love.  However, this blog isn't another my own children.  Rather, it is to celebrate the relationship that I have with my own mom. 


My mom and I in 1990 ish. 

 Growing up, I was one of those kids that was rebelious, stubborn, insisted on learning my lessons the hard way, and just plain difficult.  I always knocked heads with my mom.  Back then, I resented her "being in my business".  I didn't need to be told what to do because I already had all the answers.  My teenage years were rough.  The more I rebelled, the more she became involved, and then the more I became sneaky.  But I am so lucky that she was one of THOSE moms.  She never stopped inserting herself in my life.  The harder I pushed, the harder she tried.  I didn't appreciate it then, but I sure do now. 


Also 1990 ish....don't get distracted by all that hair. 

Even now, my mom and I are very different people.  She takes her time. I am impatient.  She has a more classic sense of style.  I like lots of colors.  We decorate our homes differently.  We drive differently.  We communicate differently.  You can perhaps chalk that up to me being adopted, or simply we are just different.  I still have my stubborn streaks, although I mask it far better now than I ever have.  These differences used to frustate me.  However, now, I have grown to appreciate them.  I don't always understand them, but I embrace them. 




As I approach 40, I see things differently because I have gained wisdom and perspective. My mom and I don't agree on many things, but I have come to love and appreciate her more with every year.  When I moved to New Hamspshire, I knew that being seperated from my parents was going to be hard, but probably necessary so that I could come to this new appreciation for our relationship.  The one thing that I can say with absolute certainity about my mom and dad is that they will always be in my corner despite our different opinions.  I am very fortunate to have the childhood that I had, the tough lessons I learned as a teenager, and the growing up that had to happen as a young adult.  I am blessed because my parents were there during the whole process. 

Mom and Dad visited New Hampshire for Mother's Day 2012

My Mom on Mother's Day 2012

My parents did a great job loving, providing, and supporting me.  However, I am now in the loving hands of my husband. I am completely grateful for his leadership, strength, wisdom, and love that he provides for our family. Having such loving parents of my own taught me how to have a loving relationship with my husband. Thank you mom and dad.

Life Lessons

As parents, you teach your children all the basic moral lessons you can squeeze into just a short time.  When you first bring home that sweet bundle of joy, 18 years seems like a very long time.  Plenty of time to teach them all they need to know.  But now, we are in the teenage years.  I remember having a hard time being an early teen.  But I never imagined how hard it was going to be as a mother of a teenager  As they get older, the lessons become harder to teach.  Partly, because the lessons become more serious and partly because as they become teenagers your children apparently already know everything.  In any case, Bruce and I are feeling the pressures of knowing that we really only have Zander under our wings for a few more years.  Now I do realize that although I would like to think Zander is under my control, the truth is Zander belongs to God.  God is in control and no matter what I do as a mom, God has a special plan for Zander's life.  The thoughts of him moving away to attend college frighten me, especially if his current behaviors and habits are to be an indication of future performance. 

My son recently encountered an opportunity to be the "bigger person" in a difficult situation.  He and 3 other boys had a huge History project to work on that took about a month to complete.  One boy in particular had the knack of pushing all of Zander's buttons (and pushing the buttons of the other teammates) and became delighted in doing so. I would love to report that Zander took the high road and made the right decision. Sadly, that was not the case.


Now, Zander is quite an intelligent guy but he also comes with very hard set opinions about most things.  As his mother, I sat by just watching this situation brewing.  Bruce and I both talked to Zander daily about trying to see the other boy's perspective.  We talked about keeping his cool.  Showing kindness, mercy, and most of all tolerance.  After all, God made everybody different.  We are not called to necessarily LIKE everyone, but we are certainly called to LOVE them.  Or at the very least, find a way to get along. 
Naturally, I would have rather this situation not occured.  But it did and now I was faced with dealing with the consequences.  And so was Zander.    I know there is always a lesson in everything.  There will be trials and opportunites for growth.  I just didn't want this one.  After much talking and praying with Zander, restrictions made and priviledges removed, my apologies made to the child's mother, Bruce and I thought we were done.  But no.  Zander had not make the necessary apologies to the teammate.  Without getting into the long details of this situation, Zander simply did not handle himself in a manner that would please God.  Things like pride, stubborness, and intolerance became the emotions that fed Zander's behavior.  It is so hard to sit by and watch our children stumble in the same areas we did when we were young.  We want to protect our children.   But sometimes the only thing for a parent to do is to remain silent....for a time. 
At the conclusion of this project, Zander went up to the father and son and with a very sincere, heavy heart, he apologized.  The father came to me afterwards and praised Zander for his genuineness and acknowledged that Zander did this from his own repetence.  I know the lessons are going to be hard for Zander.  Afterall, he is my son.  I was an incredibly stubborn young lady and the only lessons I learned in life were always learned the hard way.

A dear friend told me that when she prays for her son, she no longer prays the same way she used to.  No longer does she simply pray for her son to make the right decisions or for him to do what is right.  Instead, she prays that God would convict her son so that he can remain right with God.  My friend is very smart and I too have begun praying that way.  Bruce and I are here to nurture, teach, love, discipline, and enjoy our children.  But it is HIS job to grab a hold of Zander's heart. 

So now, we wait for the next lesson in Zander's life and pray that he has grown from this experience.  I love Zander and I am proud of him.