Beau warned me not to make statements like, "I don't want any more children", or "I am so glad our family is complete", or "I am done." In 2008, God called our family to foster children. That took a leap of faith to make that decision. However, it was that decision that led to the adoption of Oliver and Carter and for that, I am very thankful. Beau and I prayed over and wrestled with that decision for months. Honestly, it was me holding up our decision. If you want the history of that time in our lives, you can read Our Beginning Foster Story.
When you foster, you are agreeing to take in someone else's child and love them as your own. You also agree to treat them as your own, knowing full well, that one day that child that you have come to love may leave and return to their biological family. In the 3 years that our family fostered, we only had 3 children come into our home: 2 boys and 1 girl. The girl was returned to her biological family after only being with us for 4 months. However, the boys, Oliver and Carter, became ours after long and emotional struggles that finally led to an adoption. But, they were babies and essentially I was more comfortable with that because we could help mold them into happy little boys. Babies for some reason didn't scare me. Although they both had their own baggage, if you will, to deal with, I felt that I had more time to help them heal the damage. Babies didn't come with their own "set ways" and "habits" yet. I could not have been more wrong about that, by the way. We are still dealing with leftover issues as a result of their history and background.
In January, things in the Bennett household were becoming easier and more calm. Oliver was responding well to his meds, school was going well for all 4, we were feeling settled into our new home, Beau was blessed with a nice raise, and in general, we were enjoying a quality family life. But then, we get a phone call from Carter's former guardian ad litem. Doesn't God just work that way? Always stretching, always providing ways for us to know that we NEED Him? The GAL informed us that Carter had an 11 year old biological brother that needed a home. We were presented with this decision almost 2 years ago, but at that time, we didn't feel that we were in any position to take in Carter's brother. Between Oliver spiraling out of control, Beau's job didn't feel secure yet, we didn't own a home in NH, we just couldn't justify an additional child. And quite frankly, we were scared. It is easy to come up with excuses when you are fearful. Clearly God wasn't done with us though because here was this situation all over again. But this time, He changed our circumstances. We didn't have the same arguments as before. He removed our ability to easily find excuses. Rather, this time He cleared the path. Beau and I agonized over this and prayed fervently for God to show us if and how to proceed. The GAL helped ease us into this by offering to host skype sessions with him (we'll just call him Mr. A for now). We skyped with Mr. A just a couple of times and we could clearly see that the sessions went well and were smooth. The next step was to fly to Florida and meet Mr. A in person. Up until this point, however, I was simply being obedient to our call. I was looking for red flags, hoping that God would call this whole thing off, perhaps work some other miracle for Mr. A that didn't include us. There are far more qualified parents than me and Beau out there that could help him. I was convinced that we were not a good choice as we have a very busy and often times chaotic home. I was scared, doubtful, and wanting to remain in my comfort zone. I wanted good things for Mr. A and I wanted him to receive help, but I just didn't want to mess with my newly found "easy" life. I went to Florida praying that God would provide me with peace and a clear knowledge of His plan for us.
Beau and I had dinner with Mr. A our first night in Florida. It was just the three of us and it went very smoothly. In fact, he opened up quite a bit about himself. He freely talked about his "issues" and showed genuine remorse for some of his recent bad decisions. Beau and I talked about grace and how we love our children even when they make bad decisions. He spoke lovingly of his birth mother. Oh, how he misses her. But God worked that out too. Back when we celebrated Carter's 1st birthday, we invited his mom to join us. We took lots of pictures and I gave her a set. At that time, we weren't sure where Carter would end up, so we wanted to bond with his birthmother as much as we could. We wanted there to be a nice relationship and we didn't want her to miss out on such a sweet milestone in Car's life. Well, anyway, she showed Mr. A those pictures of the party, which included pictures of Beau and I. Apparently, she spoke very lovingly about us to Mr. A. Those words stuck with him and he was able to have a sense of warmth in his heart towards us. That was God working already 4 years ago. I get chill bumps everytime I have a God moment. I know He works in this way, but to realize it feels like the first time each time. It is just another sign that we were proceeding as He designed for us.
During dinner, Beau was completely open with Mr. A. Beau told him that we would like to be his forever family, but that Mr. A had to make that choice for himself. Mr. A was certainly big enough and old enough to decide for himself and that we would never try to force this transistion on him. Mr. A was very concerned about moving to the cold weather and was worried that he didn't have the property clothing. Beau was so loving with Mr. A and assured him that we would provide adequate snow gear. We talked about Carter and their biological relationship. By the end of the night though, Mr. A was still kind of undecided. We would tell he wanted to come, but was scared.
The next afternoon, we met Mr. A at a public park. All 5 boys were doing well, but were playing independently of one another. But then a storm came, so we all piled in the van and drove to Dairy Queen. Then it happened. The thing we were most fearful of. Oliver's reaction and response to Mr. A. Once Ollie realized that Mr. A was riding with us, he responded negatively. He said, "Why is HE in our car?" Beau patiently explained that Mr. A was our friend and that we were spending time getting to know him. Of course Ollie didn't like that and said "I don't want him in here." Quickly, Zander tried to recover the situation and prevent any hurt feelings by changing the subject and asking what everyone wanted at Dairy Queen. When we got out of the van, Ollie had clearly changed his mind about Mr. A and was begging to sit next to him inside the ice cream shop. Mr. A was confused by this sudden change of affection and asked me about it. I responsed with, "Well, obviously Ollie likes you now. And if Ollie likes you, then you must be good." Thankfully Mr. A was good with that. Whew.
Inside Dairy Queen, with all 5 kids, things went extremely well. They all 5 interacted well together-surprisingly. Then Mr. A spotted a coin machine. You know the ones where you drop in a coin and watch it spin. Well, Mr. A asked for a penny and so I gave him my entire change purse. All 5 boys were glued to the contraption as they joyfully watched their coins spin. Then, my God moment hit again. I looked over at 5 smiling boys playing nicely with one another and just KNEW in my heart that we were meant to be a family of 7. An overwhelming sense of peace and excitment fell over me and I just KNEW.
After we took him home, I gave him a picture of our boys and we hugged him goodbye. Beau told him that the ball was in his court and that he needed to decide how to proceed. The next morning, we got a phone call from the guardian ad litem and she told us that Mr. A's foster parents were amazed by his transformation and how excited and happy he appeared. He came in that evening after our Dairy Queen visit and cleaned his room like he had never done before. He announced to his foster family that he was moving to NH after school let out. All of this change just because we told him we cared and we wanted to invest in him. Amazing!!!
Once Mr. A was back in the house with his foster family, Beau had a talk with the boys. Before he could even finish the conversation about the possible addition to our family, Ollie yelled out in excitement. The one that we were most concerned about was the first one to show enthusiasm for another brother. God moment. Yes, I think so.
He requested one final meeting with us before we went back to NH. I wasn't able to come, but Beau and the boys met again at a park. It was for only an hour, but even the guardian ad litem was amazed to see the developing bond that was already ocurring. I know once he moves here, things will not always be this easy. I know that he will test the waters, test our authority, perhaps resent being away from Florida, maybe fight with his brothers, etc. But when these times happen, I will rest in the knowledge that I KNOW God put this together and we were meant to be a family.
In the mean time, Beau and I have a ton of things to prepare for his arrival. Another home study, building an additional room, buying a van, and organizing the basement. God is good and our whole family is very excited of what is to come. However, I will be sure not to tell God that I am done ever again. We wouldn't want to tempt him. LOL.
Monday, May 12, 2014
Sunday, April 20, 2014
Finding the Humor Amid the Dysfunction
You know the day is going to be rough when it starts out like our Easter began. But, if you think optimistically, and I do have to make myself do this sometimes, you could convince yourself that you have the entire day for things to improve. I have a tendancy to see the glass is half empty. Bruce, however, would measure the liquid in the glass and tell me exactly the percentage just how full/empty the glass was. He would never be concerned with whether the cup was full or empty, rather, just the quantative facts. He is a realist. We really are quite opposites in every way, but somehow, we work very well together, well, mostly.
Regardless of our philosphies about optimism, pessimisim, or realism, our day never improved. William, who is the only one of the littles that knows there are no such things as Tooth Fairies, Easter Bunnies, or Santa Clause, was the first one to wake up on Easter morning.....at 5:30am. Now, I am still recovering from being very ill and my energy has not returned to full capacity, so this 5:30am wake up call was not well received by me. We made him lay down a little longer and wait for his brothers to wake in hopes of gaining a little more much needed sleep. Just as we were about to drift into dream land again, the other two were standing at the edge of our bed. So at this point, we knew additional sleep was a lost cause. Therefore, our Easter festivities began.
Once the boys enjoyed their baskets and we hunted the hidden eggs in the living room we had breakfast. I tried to return to my bed and sleep, but that didn't work. Once the boys found me, it was all over. After I got over mourning the loss of sleep, I hopped in the shower hoping it would revitalize me. On Sunday mornings, Beau and I have a system. He makes breakfast for everyone (and medicates Ollie) while I get ready for church. Once I am almost finished, I make sure the boys are getting dressed and brushing their teeth so that we can leave on time. We only live about 2 miles from the church, and yet, we still never manage to get there early. We do arrive on time, usually, but never early (which is Beau's preference). In the midst of our altered sunday morning schedule, neither one of us medicated Ollie. We only realized this when we entered the church and he all of the suddenly began crying over the tag I forgot to remove from his shirt. Once Oliver began crying, then Carter started too. I asked Car what was wrong and he decided he was starving. Now I know this wasn't possible because he JUST ate. So at this point, I was just waiting for William to begin crying. Thankfully, he didn't.
However, we made it to the back row of the church. Beau and I used to be front row church members, but having 3 wiggly people, we sit in the back as not to disturb anyone. Once I sat down, I figured things would get better. They HAD to. But no. I look down at my dress that I was so proud of that morning and realized that I looked hideous. A complete wardrobe malfunction. Let's just say I am typically a modest dresser, and this morning didn't follow suit. I just wanted to hide. Anyway, we made it through church with only minor infractions from Oliver and Carter.
We came home and spent the afternoon playing outside. The sun was shining but the temperature was refreshing. Just an absolutely beautiful day. The boys took turns hiding eggs for each other. They were having a blast.....until everyone was muddy, dirty, soaking wet, and this mom was quite irritated. Their innocent game of egg hunting turned into EXTREME EGG HUNTING. I really shouldn't be surprised each time my boys show up at the back door filthy. But for some reason, I am always shocked. We live on a property where behind our fence line, we have lots of woods and a small stream, which is still part of our property. It's a great place for boys to find adventure and get into trouble. I began working in the kitchen and suddenly I had a knock at the back door. There stood 4 muddy, soaked boys. Their faces were dirty, their pants were wet, and their shoes and socks were DISGUSTING. If it hadn't been a little on the cooler side, I would have stripped them and hosed them down before entering the house. Anyway, let 's just say I then had a filthy kitchen. Ugh.
I decided that this day would be a wonderful day for our first dinner outside of the season. Beau was already planning on cooking out, but he wanted to eat indoors saying that it would soon be too chilly to eat outside. However, I had my heart set on eating on the back deck. So, being a loving husband, he and Zander cleaned our patio table and set it up along with the chairs. Just as the sun was beginning to hide and the day was turning dusk, we sat down to eat dinner. The very first thing out of my mouth (without thinking obviously) was how chilly it was. Man, if looks could kill! He was not my number one fan at this point. So, I happily sat there eating dinner with my jacket on (so did Will).
For some people, this day could be just as it was. One little let down after another, a series of slip ups, moments of dysfunction, or just life. But for others, we can let these things go and realize the bigger picture. We have hope and grace because of a resurrected Savior. Easter is a time of family, a time of egg hunting and decorating, and perhaps family "messes". But it is ALL about our Christ and how he died and rose again. That power is with us and gives us the hope to go on, even on days that don't go as we wish. Humor and the ability to laugh at ourselves helps too. Hope you had a lovely Easter. Love from the Bennett's.
Regardless of our philosphies about optimism, pessimisim, or realism, our day never improved. William, who is the only one of the littles that knows there are no such things as Tooth Fairies, Easter Bunnies, or Santa Clause, was the first one to wake up on Easter morning.....at 5:30am. Now, I am still recovering from being very ill and my energy has not returned to full capacity, so this 5:30am wake up call was not well received by me. We made him lay down a little longer and wait for his brothers to wake in hopes of gaining a little more much needed sleep. Just as we were about to drift into dream land again, the other two were standing at the edge of our bed. So at this point, we knew additional sleep was a lost cause. Therefore, our Easter festivities began.
Once the boys enjoyed their baskets and we hunted the hidden eggs in the living room we had breakfast. I tried to return to my bed and sleep, but that didn't work. Once the boys found me, it was all over. After I got over mourning the loss of sleep, I hopped in the shower hoping it would revitalize me. On Sunday mornings, Beau and I have a system. He makes breakfast for everyone (and medicates Ollie) while I get ready for church. Once I am almost finished, I make sure the boys are getting dressed and brushing their teeth so that we can leave on time. We only live about 2 miles from the church, and yet, we still never manage to get there early. We do arrive on time, usually, but never early (which is Beau's preference). In the midst of our altered sunday morning schedule, neither one of us medicated Ollie. We only realized this when we entered the church and he all of the suddenly began crying over the tag I forgot to remove from his shirt. Once Oliver began crying, then Carter started too. I asked Car what was wrong and he decided he was starving. Now I know this wasn't possible because he JUST ate. So at this point, I was just waiting for William to begin crying. Thankfully, he didn't.
However, we made it to the back row of the church. Beau and I used to be front row church members, but having 3 wiggly people, we sit in the back as not to disturb anyone. Once I sat down, I figured things would get better. They HAD to. But no. I look down at my dress that I was so proud of that morning and realized that I looked hideous. A complete wardrobe malfunction. Let's just say I am typically a modest dresser, and this morning didn't follow suit. I just wanted to hide. Anyway, we made it through church with only minor infractions from Oliver and Carter.
We came home and spent the afternoon playing outside. The sun was shining but the temperature was refreshing. Just an absolutely beautiful day. The boys took turns hiding eggs for each other. They were having a blast.....until everyone was muddy, dirty, soaking wet, and this mom was quite irritated. Their innocent game of egg hunting turned into EXTREME EGG HUNTING. I really shouldn't be surprised each time my boys show up at the back door filthy. But for some reason, I am always shocked. We live on a property where behind our fence line, we have lots of woods and a small stream, which is still part of our property. It's a great place for boys to find adventure and get into trouble. I began working in the kitchen and suddenly I had a knock at the back door. There stood 4 muddy, soaked boys. Their faces were dirty, their pants were wet, and their shoes and socks were DISGUSTING. If it hadn't been a little on the cooler side, I would have stripped them and hosed them down before entering the house. Anyway, let 's just say I then had a filthy kitchen. Ugh.
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| Playing with a weed feeder. Don't ask!! |
For some people, this day could be just as it was. One little let down after another, a series of slip ups, moments of dysfunction, or just life. But for others, we can let these things go and realize the bigger picture. We have hope and grace because of a resurrected Savior. Easter is a time of family, a time of egg hunting and decorating, and perhaps family "messes". But it is ALL about our Christ and how he died and rose again. That power is with us and gives us the hope to go on, even on days that don't go as we wish. Humor and the ability to laugh at ourselves helps too. Hope you had a lovely Easter. Love from the Bennett's.
Saturday, April 19, 2014
Spring Time in New Hampshire
Spring came late in New Hampshire this year. The calendar revealed spring began March 20, but we actually had a light dusting of snow on that day. But here we are in April, and finally we have had a few days of driving with the sunroof open, enjoying the curtains blow in the breeze from the open windows, listening to birds chirp, and watching the grass as it slowly turns green once again. Spring in New England is much different than Spring in Florida. There is an actual gradual increase in temperatures and you can literally see things come alive. In Florida, you go from an almost cool winter and straight into the heat of what you believe feels like summer, but in reality, it it not. I believe that there really is only two kinds of weather in Florida: hot and hotter. Oh, and throw some rain in there. Florida is one of those places where when it rains, it just feels hotter. It's not refreshing, cleansing, or cooling. It just brings more mosquitoes and humidity. Blah.
Although I haven't brought out my flip flops yet, I am enjoying this weather currently. It is beautiful. The sun feels warm on your skin while the breeze refreshes you and prevents you from becoming too warm. We even had a day warm enough to play in the sprinklers. As Beau and I worked in the yard doing some spring cleaning, the boys thoroughly enjoyed cooling down in the water.
Spring also marks the beginning of sports for our family. This year, three out of the four boys wanted to play recreational soccer again, but Oliver was insistent he wanted to try t-ball. He has requested this for a couple of years now, but only until recently did we feel he was ready to give it a try. As it turns out, he's actually pretty good. He had his first game today and he played well. Oliver scored a home run and he even played well in outfield. He almost was successful in getting somebody out. For a boy who doesn't like being the center of attention or wearing any kind of hat, Oliver did exceptionally well.
He was able to hit the ball, while onlookers paid attention to him and he wore a helmet with no complaint. These two items are huge successes for Ollie. Whether or not Oliver will ever be the MVP on his team has never been important. But the fact that he is stepping outside his comfort zone and doing something WITHOUT his brothers is something to be proud of. I am so excited to see what the remainder of the season will look like. I am praying for growth in his confidence and skill and I hope to see lots of smiles.
Last week, the other boys began their soccer seasons. We are so spoiled now because the field is less than half a mile from our house and we can walk there and not get caught up in the parking mess. Even though our little town consists of only 8800 people, the sports fields are packed. Being so close to the fields, I could hear the announcements this morning during the opening baseball ceremonies. I love it!!!
Carter has only played soccer about 2 seasons previously and they weren't overly successful. He thought he was playing football and knocked over most players and even coaches. Not one of his finest moments. But, this time, Carter finally showed signs of understanding the rules of the game and showed respect for other players. I wasn't there to see it, but Beau said Carter actually played soccer this time and played by the rules. So, I see this as success.
William moved up to an older league this year making him one of the youngest (and definitely smallest) on his team. But as always, Will played his best and enjoyed being social. He is a good runner and always plays with the best attitude. Another success.
Zander hasn't had his first game yet so there is little to report there. They did make a change to the routine this season. In years past, there haven't always been enough players to have several teams in the U16 league. Remember, our town is very small. So, this year, in order to prevent the kids from playing the same rivaling team over and over again, we will be traveling to a nearby town and have the opportunity to play against "fresh" competition. It does mean we will have to travel this season, but I guess driving for 1 our of 4 kids isn't too bad.
This year, William has a new passion. Tree climbing. He has longed for years to follow Zander up into a tree, but until this year, he just didn't have the strength. Boys and trees are quite a pair.
Although I haven't brought out my flip flops yet, I am enjoying this weather currently. It is beautiful. The sun feels warm on your skin while the breeze refreshes you and prevents you from becoming too warm. We even had a day warm enough to play in the sprinklers. As Beau and I worked in the yard doing some spring cleaning, the boys thoroughly enjoyed cooling down in the water.
Last week, the other boys began their soccer seasons. We are so spoiled now because the field is less than half a mile from our house and we can walk there and not get caught up in the parking mess. Even though our little town consists of only 8800 people, the sports fields are packed. Being so close to the fields, I could hear the announcements this morning during the opening baseball ceremonies. I love it!!!
Carter has only played soccer about 2 seasons previously and they weren't overly successful. He thought he was playing football and knocked over most players and even coaches. Not one of his finest moments. But, this time, Carter finally showed signs of understanding the rules of the game and showed respect for other players. I wasn't there to see it, but Beau said Carter actually played soccer this time and played by the rules. So, I see this as success.
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| He's one of the youngest on the team, and one of the biggest. |
William moved up to an older league this year making him one of the youngest (and definitely smallest) on his team. But as always, Will played his best and enjoyed being social. He is a good runner and always plays with the best attitude. Another success.
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| Look at his fancy footwork. |
Zander hasn't had his first game yet so there is little to report there. They did make a change to the routine this season. In years past, there haven't always been enough players to have several teams in the U16 league. Remember, our town is very small. So, this year, in order to prevent the kids from playing the same rivaling team over and over again, we will be traveling to a nearby town and have the opportunity to play against "fresh" competition. It does mean we will have to travel this season, but I guess driving for 1 our of 4 kids isn't too bad.
This year, William has a new passion. Tree climbing. He has longed for years to follow Zander up into a tree, but until this year, he just didn't have the strength. Boys and trees are quite a pair.
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| Little Bit isn't quite ready yet, but he sure did try.
So even though spring arrived late, we are going to enjoy every minute of it.
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Sunday, March 30, 2014
So far behind in blogging....
Well, we are half way through March, and I haven't blogged lately. We have been so busy doing the next thing, my blog has been put on the back burner. This will have to simply be a catch up blog.
I will start with January. January is always an incredibly busy month in the Bennett household. We are recovering from the Christmas season and the clean up that goes along with that. Then we turn around and celebrate 2 birthdays (Beau and Oliver) and our anniversary.
Zander hit a milestone. He shaved for the first time. Now, I promised him I wouldn't post pictures, but as a parent, this is monumental. Well, I guess all milestones are big, but this is bittersweet. I stood in the bathroom, with tears streaming down my cheeks, as Beau taught Zander to shave. This is a rite of passage, a transition into adulthood. And although Zander does not understand his mother's reaction, I know one day as he experiences this with his own son, he will.
Then we celebrated Beau's 30-something birthday. I am 18 months older than he so for 6 months out of each year, I am 2 years older than him. Beau takes pleasure during those 6 months to really rub my nose in the fact that he married a much older woman. Whatever! Then only 12 days after his birthday, we celebrated our 16th wedding anniversary. I can't believe it's already been that long. We are so lucky to still have a relationship where we genuinely enjoy being with each other.
Also, during January, Beau's youngest brother Ben (he has 5 younger brothers), came to visit for a few days with the agenda of interviewing at the same company in which Beau is employed. Some personnel changes have occurred lately making another person with Beau's same experience and knowledge needed. Of course Ben was the right candidate and after a long interview process, Ben was offered the job. He and his sweet family will be moving out here in June. We are thrilled to live near family once again. Well, thrilled is probably an understatement. We are literally giddy and I know Beau is relieved to have his brother, his friend, and his capable co-worker to spend his work days with. It's funny to watch these two interact with one another. They have so many similarities and mannerisms. Everyone at the office were quite amazed that Ben was just a younger version of Beau. Of all the Bennett brothers, Beau and Ben have always had a special bond. It's quite endearing, really. Ben has a way of bringing out the fun and relaxed Beau.
On the first morning that Ben was here, the same morning of his interview, my boys were extremely excited to see this infamous uncle. The little guys do not remember him as Ben moved to Nevada when they were young. Since that time, they haven't seen him. But they have heard stories about Uncle Ben and they were intrigued. Anyway, that early morning, Ben walked out of his room and the boys gasped because he looked "so young." William even asked Ben if Ben had his mother's permission to be in New Hampshire. Ben, of course, found that quite humorous and that story provided him with a great anecdote for his interview.
Late in the month, my Ollie turned 6. Oliver woke up that day and announced that he wanted seafood for lunch. Many of you may find that to be a normal request in your home, however, for Oliver to request this was incredibly unusual. Definitely outside of his comfort zone. Oliver is typically a VERY healthy eater, however, he sticks with common food. We have tried in the past to feed Ollie various seafood, but we have never been successful (except for an occasional piece of Tilapia that I make from home). Not only did he request seafood, but he was very specific. He wanted shrimp. Knowing how Ollie can be, Beau took the time to explain what shrimp looks like, even going as far as showing him pictures on the Internet. Beau grew up eating shrimp that his dad caught himself. In fact, shrimp was a staple in their household. After all, feeding 6 Bennett boys was expensive so what better way to offset the cost than by catching and growing your own food. Gardening was popular in their house too. Beau shared with Ollie all the stories of growing up eating shrimp and watching his dad catch the shrimp. Ollie was emphatic that he wanted shrimp. So, away we went with high hopes of eating seafood. We get to the restaurant. Oliver reviews the pictures on the kid's menu, and is still excited about ordering a shrimp dinner ALL BY HIMSELF. The server comes over and when it is Oliver's turn, he, with a huge smile, orders CHEESE PIZZA. What! Then when all of our dinners were served (most of us ordered shrimp), Oliver ate a large part of everyone else's shrimp. Of course!!! That's my Ollie.
Then we did the Chuck E Cheese thing. Will has only been one time, but Oliver and Car had never been. Definitely not one of my favorite places. Noisy, children hyped up on sugar and video games, germs, noisy, crowded dark room, and did I mention noisy? These places typically make my skin crawl. However, I was pleasantly surprised. The room was well lit and it "appeared" clean. Still had the noisy hyped up kids, but I was able to cope. As usual, each family member had their "partner" for whom they were responsible~ me and Ollie, Beau and Car, and Zander and Will. For the first 20 minutes or so, my job was easy. Ollie was in sensory overload initially. It took a while before Oliver was able to relax and decide he was ready to play. But once he did, he had a wonderful time.
I always love to "parent watch". In my years of being a parent, I have concluded that there are basically 3 types of parents (in places like Chuck E Cheese). 1: The parent that aimlessly follows their child around from game to game, while checking their watch periodically and hoping that the "fun" will end soon. 2: The parent that sits at a table and talks to other parents or spends their whole time with their head bowed looking at their smart phone and periodically hands out more money when their child comes to check in and 3: The parent that is still young at heart and leads the way to each game and plays each one with enthusiasm that rivals their own child. During this outing, I was between the 1st and 3rd parent type. I certainly had my moments of each.
Chuck E Cheese was a complete success and each boy had fun. The best/worst part is at the end when you turn in all your hundreds of tickets that you worked so hard to earn and your parents spent so much money on, only to receive a piece of candy or two. But, the kids thought this process was pretty cool. Clearly, they are far easier to please than us adults. So, we left there 2 1/2 hours later with happy children and a wonderful 6th birthday that Ollie will remember for a long time.
Once home, we finished the celebration with a dinosaur cake. I have given up on trying to bake my own cakes. It is far too stressful and is never pretty or picture worthy.
By the end, I concluded that this was a terrible idea and next year we would go back to the box sets (or begin in January if we do our own cards again). So much for fun bonding time.
Also in February, Ben stayed with us for 2 weeks so he could train with Beau. Although we thoroughly enjoyed having Ben around, I am sure he was ready to be reunited with his wife and newborn daughter. Zander really liked having time with Ben and I see a future tight bond between them.
During the months of January and February, I got lots of experience of driving in snow, sleet, and ice. I DO NOT like it. I have fishtailed, slid down a hill, taken 10 minutes to finally successfully make it to the end of my driveway, observed my windshield wipers frozen and incapable of working, and have become trapped needed the assistance of the snow plow driver to free me. This has been an unusual winter in New England. We have had more snow than I have experienced thus far. The temperatures have been pretty cold too. But I know I am a true New Englander now when I stepped outside to take the boys to school recently in 32 degree weather and I thought to myself, wow, what a nice warm day. I NEVER thought I would get that point. People told me it would happen and they were right.
With February zooming by in a flash, March was here before we were ready. First, we began the month off with Oliver losing his first tooth.
It wasn't nearly traumatic as I thought it might be. He actually allowed me to pull it out. It did take some coaxing and some daddy authority, but once the tooth was out Oliver was thrilled and relieved.
March 20 marked the first day of Spring and this is what we got on this beautiful day.....SNOW. I don't see any signs of flowers in bloom yet!
Also in March, Zander turned 15. I don't even know how that happened since I haven't aged 15 years. Well, don't look too closely at the laugh lines and the wrinkles around my eyes. His birthday this year was low key as all he wanted were some itunes cards and a book. I love that he still loves to read. I wish that I had that same desire. His vocabulary has always been so advanced and I appreciate that about him. In fact, he is currently reading 3 different books now. I don't know how he keeps them straight, but he does. He read a series several months ago and loved it so much, we are now reading the first book of the series together (Beau, Zander, and me). I cherish that he still desires to spend this time with us. It is so hard to "reach" him at times. I guess some of that goes along with growing into a mature young man who is still trying to learn his independence and find his way. Another one of Zander's passions is playing chess. He is constantly studying online for new strategies and watching videos of others' playing to learn. He takes his chess playing quite seriously. I guess if he spends much of his time playing chess and reading books, then I can't complain. There are far worse things he could be doing.
The next big adventure that we are all getting geared up for is a family trip to Florida in April. Spending time with friends and family is much overdue. While in Florida, we have decided to visit the Disney parks. Beau and I always had a family rule that we wouldn't visit Disney until the youngest was 5 years old. I like Disney, but I don't LOVE Disney. It's crowded, overpriced, the lines are ridiculous. However, I think that it is a sin if a Florida child doesn't visit the park at least once. So, with Carter turning 5 in a couple of weeks, we decided it was finally time to take the family to Disney. I am actually excited. I see a future blog.
Until next time~
I will start with January. January is always an incredibly busy month in the Bennett household. We are recovering from the Christmas season and the clean up that goes along with that. Then we turn around and celebrate 2 birthdays (Beau and Oliver) and our anniversary.
Zander hit a milestone. He shaved for the first time. Now, I promised him I wouldn't post pictures, but as a parent, this is monumental. Well, I guess all milestones are big, but this is bittersweet. I stood in the bathroom, with tears streaming down my cheeks, as Beau taught Zander to shave. This is a rite of passage, a transition into adulthood. And although Zander does not understand his mother's reaction, I know one day as he experiences this with his own son, he will.
Then we celebrated Beau's 30-something birthday. I am 18 months older than he so for 6 months out of each year, I am 2 years older than him. Beau takes pleasure during those 6 months to really rub my nose in the fact that he married a much older woman. Whatever! Then only 12 days after his birthday, we celebrated our 16th wedding anniversary. I can't believe it's already been that long. We are so lucky to still have a relationship where we genuinely enjoy being with each other.
Also, during January, Beau's youngest brother Ben (he has 5 younger brothers), came to visit for a few days with the agenda of interviewing at the same company in which Beau is employed. Some personnel changes have occurred lately making another person with Beau's same experience and knowledge needed. Of course Ben was the right candidate and after a long interview process, Ben was offered the job. He and his sweet family will be moving out here in June. We are thrilled to live near family once again. Well, thrilled is probably an understatement. We are literally giddy and I know Beau is relieved to have his brother, his friend, and his capable co-worker to spend his work days with. It's funny to watch these two interact with one another. They have so many similarities and mannerisms. Everyone at the office were quite amazed that Ben was just a younger version of Beau. Of all the Bennett brothers, Beau and Ben have always had a special bond. It's quite endearing, really. Ben has a way of bringing out the fun and relaxed Beau.
On the first morning that Ben was here, the same morning of his interview, my boys were extremely excited to see this infamous uncle. The little guys do not remember him as Ben moved to Nevada when they were young. Since that time, they haven't seen him. But they have heard stories about Uncle Ben and they were intrigued. Anyway, that early morning, Ben walked out of his room and the boys gasped because he looked "so young." William even asked Ben if Ben had his mother's permission to be in New Hampshire. Ben, of course, found that quite humorous and that story provided him with a great anecdote for his interview.
Late in the month, my Ollie turned 6. Oliver woke up that day and announced that he wanted seafood for lunch. Many of you may find that to be a normal request in your home, however, for Oliver to request this was incredibly unusual. Definitely outside of his comfort zone. Oliver is typically a VERY healthy eater, however, he sticks with common food. We have tried in the past to feed Ollie various seafood, but we have never been successful (except for an occasional piece of Tilapia that I make from home). Not only did he request seafood, but he was very specific. He wanted shrimp. Knowing how Ollie can be, Beau took the time to explain what shrimp looks like, even going as far as showing him pictures on the Internet. Beau grew up eating shrimp that his dad caught himself. In fact, shrimp was a staple in their household. After all, feeding 6 Bennett boys was expensive so what better way to offset the cost than by catching and growing your own food. Gardening was popular in their house too. Beau shared with Ollie all the stories of growing up eating shrimp and watching his dad catch the shrimp. Ollie was emphatic that he wanted shrimp. So, away we went with high hopes of eating seafood. We get to the restaurant. Oliver reviews the pictures on the kid's menu, and is still excited about ordering a shrimp dinner ALL BY HIMSELF. The server comes over and when it is Oliver's turn, he, with a huge smile, orders CHEESE PIZZA. What! Then when all of our dinners were served (most of us ordered shrimp), Oliver ate a large part of everyone else's shrimp. Of course!!! That's my Ollie.
Then we did the Chuck E Cheese thing. Will has only been one time, but Oliver and Car had never been. Definitely not one of my favorite places. Noisy, children hyped up on sugar and video games, germs, noisy, crowded dark room, and did I mention noisy? These places typically make my skin crawl. However, I was pleasantly surprised. The room was well lit and it "appeared" clean. Still had the noisy hyped up kids, but I was able to cope. As usual, each family member had their "partner" for whom they were responsible~ me and Ollie, Beau and Car, and Zander and Will. For the first 20 minutes or so, my job was easy. Ollie was in sensory overload initially. It took a while before Oliver was able to relax and decide he was ready to play. But once he did, he had a wonderful time.
I always love to "parent watch". In my years of being a parent, I have concluded that there are basically 3 types of parents (in places like Chuck E Cheese). 1: The parent that aimlessly follows their child around from game to game, while checking their watch periodically and hoping that the "fun" will end soon. 2: The parent that sits at a table and talks to other parents or spends their whole time with their head bowed looking at their smart phone and periodically hands out more money when their child comes to check in and 3: The parent that is still young at heart and leads the way to each game and plays each one with enthusiasm that rivals their own child. During this outing, I was between the 1st and 3rd parent type. I certainly had my moments of each.
Chuck E Cheese was a complete success and each boy had fun. The best/worst part is at the end when you turn in all your hundreds of tickets that you worked so hard to earn and your parents spent so much money on, only to receive a piece of candy or two. But, the kids thought this process was pretty cool. Clearly, they are far easier to please than us adults. So, we left there 2 1/2 hours later with happy children and a wonderful 6th birthday that Ollie will remember for a long time.
Once home, we finished the celebration with a dinosaur cake. I have given up on trying to bake my own cakes. It is far too stressful and is never pretty or picture worthy.
January ended quickly and we landed right into February. This year, I decided what fun it would be to make all of our own valentine's cards. That would be 46 students and 11 teachers between Will, Ollie, and Car. It would be a neat project to do with the kids and we would bond. Yeah right. Their enthusiasm lasted only moments. We got set up, put out the markers and craft supplies, and the class lists. Each boy energetically did a couple of the cards on their own. Of course, they did write all the names of their classmates and their own name, but I did all the rest.
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| One of the 11 teacher's cards. |
Also in February, Ben stayed with us for 2 weeks so he could train with Beau. Although we thoroughly enjoyed having Ben around, I am sure he was ready to be reunited with his wife and newborn daughter. Zander really liked having time with Ben and I see a future tight bond between them.
During the months of January and February, I got lots of experience of driving in snow, sleet, and ice. I DO NOT like it. I have fishtailed, slid down a hill, taken 10 minutes to finally successfully make it to the end of my driveway, observed my windshield wipers frozen and incapable of working, and have become trapped needed the assistance of the snow plow driver to free me. This has been an unusual winter in New England. We have had more snow than I have experienced thus far. The temperatures have been pretty cold too. But I know I am a true New Englander now when I stepped outside to take the boys to school recently in 32 degree weather and I thought to myself, wow, what a nice warm day. I NEVER thought I would get that point. People told me it would happen and they were right.
With February zooming by in a flash, March was here before we were ready. First, we began the month off with Oliver losing his first tooth.
March 20 marked the first day of Spring and this is what we got on this beautiful day.....SNOW. I don't see any signs of flowers in bloom yet!
Also in March, Zander turned 15. I don't even know how that happened since I haven't aged 15 years. Well, don't look too closely at the laugh lines and the wrinkles around my eyes. His birthday this year was low key as all he wanted were some itunes cards and a book. I love that he still loves to read. I wish that I had that same desire. His vocabulary has always been so advanced and I appreciate that about him. In fact, he is currently reading 3 different books now. I don't know how he keeps them straight, but he does. He read a series several months ago and loved it so much, we are now reading the first book of the series together (Beau, Zander, and me). I cherish that he still desires to spend this time with us. It is so hard to "reach" him at times. I guess some of that goes along with growing into a mature young man who is still trying to learn his independence and find his way. Another one of Zander's passions is playing chess. He is constantly studying online for new strategies and watching videos of others' playing to learn. He takes his chess playing quite seriously. I guess if he spends much of his time playing chess and reading books, then I can't complain. There are far worse things he could be doing.
The next big adventure that we are all getting geared up for is a family trip to Florida in April. Spending time with friends and family is much overdue. While in Florida, we have decided to visit the Disney parks. Beau and I always had a family rule that we wouldn't visit Disney until the youngest was 5 years old. I like Disney, but I don't LOVE Disney. It's crowded, overpriced, the lines are ridiculous. However, I think that it is a sin if a Florida child doesn't visit the park at least once. So, with Carter turning 5 in a couple of weeks, we decided it was finally time to take the family to Disney. I am actually excited. I see a future blog.
Until next time~
Saturday, January 4, 2014
Saying Goodbye to 2013
This has been an eventful year for the Bennett's with lots for which to be thankful. The fiscal cliff that was looming over us last year came and went and we're still standing. I no longer have any children in diapers, we bought a house, all four of my kids are now in school (of course, not at the same time), William got baptized, we finally have a diagnosis for Oliver and have implemented a successful drug therapy for him, Zander had his braces removed, a successful eye surgery, and started high school, and Carter is turning into a little person with only small glimpses of "baby things" left (like sucking his thumb and still being snuggled sometimes and sung to at night, all of which I still totally love). Every once in a while I can be caught daydreaming about having another baby....but then I quickly wake up to reality as I hear running through the house or fighting over a coveted toy or my teenager complaining about homework. Suddenly, then, I no longer pine for another baby........unless it were a girl. I still ache for a little girl. In fact, I tear up when I pass through the baby girl clothing section at the stores. The hair bows, the pink, the frills, the girly stuff. It is simply too much. Ok, confession, I never really have a REASON to pass through the girl section. I purposely visit this section. I don't know why I torture myself. Of course, it doesn't help to have a husband who still gets mushy when he sees a baby. You should just see his smile and the twinkle in his eye. In some ways, he is more pitiful than I am.  |
| William's Baptism~ Silver Lake |
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| Pastor Mike Rattin, William, Daddy |
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| The day Zander's braces were removed |
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| Brotherly Love |
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| More Brotherly Love |
We were blessed with an almost new car at NO cost. My parents have visited twice this year and we were able to enjoy so many new memories with them. Cami came and stayed with us for a few days and as always, we had a blast. Other dear friends from Florida, the Jamieson's, came and visited one afternoon. It was so good to see their whole family. I got to go to Florida for a few days and make the rounds to see my friends and family.
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| Nana and Pop and family picking out our new fruit trees |
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| Family time~ carving pumpkins |
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| Taking a break |
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| Nana, Pop, and me |
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| Cami and I in Maine |
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| Cami and I at a beach in Maine |
We have really enjoyed the last few months in our new home. We have finished a few small projects throughout, some of the painting is complete, and some updating has been accomplished. However, our list seems to be just as long as it was when we moved into the house. But, one thing at a time. Finally being homeowners once again has allowed me to feel settled. I feel like I am home and right where I belong. I hope that it will allow us to begin to plant roots. It gives me a sense of security and permanency.
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| New swing set |
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| Organizational Project |
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| Our new home |
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| Our big back yard |
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| Will's first BIG birthday party |
2013 marked the year that all 4 boys are in school. Zander, now a high schooler, started 9th grade. Will and Oliver began kindergarten (different classes and different teachers), and Car began preschool. I am happy to report that all 4 boys are doing well in their classes and enjoy going to school. Zander decided to drop boy scouts this year and I was so sad about that decision. However, in place of scouts, Zander picked up the chess club and the robotics team (both of which are great replacements with redeeming long term value). William loves school and LOVES being social even more. He has become quite a math and numbers master. Everywhere we go his conversations revolve around numbers in some way. Beau is always happy to entertain any numbers conversation. Will so badly wants to learn to read and he is getting closer every day. Oliver is doing better as the school year progresses, especially now that we have a drug therapy implemented. He is a completely different child and with each day, we get some kind of confirmation or sign that Beau and I made the right choice for Oliver. Carter has come a long way also. He has lots of friends and he has a genuine passion to learn new things. Although he is older and definitely bigger than his classmates, he is very gentle and patient. Carter's teacher has commented many times about his desire to share and how well he gets along with his friends. There was a time, when Carter was younger, that I worried about his aggression and temper. But, as he has become older, he has learned to control it.
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| The two middles are becoming bigger helpers now |
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| First day of high school |
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| First day of Kindergarten |
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| First day of Preschool |
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| I turned 40 this year~ blah!! |
The boys are becoming snowball making professionals. In fact, they no longer act like Florida boys as they can now very quickly put on their snow clothes (even their gloves, which was a very difficult task for them) and erect a snowman with ease. I am still not comfortable driving in the snow or ice, but at least now I live within a mile of the schools, small grocery store, and post office. Church is within 2 miles and Beau's office is within 3 miles. I can now go about 2 weeks on a single tank of gas. We are pretty spoiled in our new home.
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| Professional snowman builders |
We enjoyed a nice Christmas this year. Each boy, young and old, were very pleased with their stuff. We kept Christmas small, but nice. Last Christmas we were preparing for an upcoming move so the holidays felt pressured. But this year was peaceful and calm. Zander and I still participated in Black Friday shopping this season. This year, however, I was feeling very convicted about shopping. I was feeling guilty about my shopping while others were MADE to work because of MY shopping. But Beau gently reminded me that Zander was looking forward to this time spent with me and that I should probably go anyway. We did go, we got some amazing deals, had a great time, saw plenty of kind shoppers, but most importantly, Zander and I had some very deep conversations that I hope and pray will go a long way. Those moments of bonding are so important!! Below is our numerous "bad"attempts at capturing the family photo for our Christmas cards. Last year, we took 61 shots to get to that perfect one. This year, we stopped at 21. We didn't get what I would call the perfect one, but the photographer (Beau) was done and so were the kids by the 21st shot. I think I am going to start doing photo albums just for the "bad" photos. They are HILARIOUS! Great coffee table conversation piece.
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| One of many "bad" takes |
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| Still no |
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| I don't think so |
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| Nope |
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| Well, at least Carter is happy |
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| Definitely not a good one |
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| Not sure what Will was doing here |
I am so glad to report that the Christmas tree remained upright this whole season and the boys were great about leaving it alone. We did have a couple of casualties (broken ornaments) this year, but not due to wild behavior near the tree. So that is a complete success in my book!! We brought in the new year the same as we have for the last 2 holidays here in New Hampshire....snacky foods and late night movies. Carter, of course, didn't make it too long. I think 9:30pm was his limit. The other two made it to 10ish and Zander, Beau and I made it to 1:30am. Nice quiet and intimate night with the family. These moments are to be cherished.
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| Christmas Eve just before evening church service |
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| Each little boy got a new bike with a personalized license plate |
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| Now the whole neighborhood can enjoy Car's singing! LOL |
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| New Year's Eve~ Little one fell asleep first |
2013 was a busy year for us and we look forward to this upcoming year. We hope and pray that your family has a peaceful and blessed 2014.
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