Our Crazy Life

Now that I am beginning to have some down time with all 4 boys in school full time this year, I have begun taking on little house projects.  Not difficult ones, just some organizing and  purging projects that allow me to de-clutter my house and mind.  It's nice having this time to myself.  I have the water fountain on right now that Beau bought me for one of our anniversaries (although I can't recall which one) and I can actually hear the water running.  I am watching the leaves fall from the beautifully colored trees from the window I am sitting near.  Chipmunks are scurrying about and squirrels are quickly gathering acorns before the winter hits.  My house is clean, my laundry is mostly caught up (which is almost unheard of since there are 6 of us and boys make the worst messes in clothes)!!! 

I began looking at my blog and realized that I have written very little the year.  It's not because we haven't had anything fun, sad, or God things to report.  Actually, on the contrary.  We have been so busy this year that we have barely had time to stop and enjoy things.  As the boys are getting older, they are busier.  Between school, homework, sports, cub scouts, birthday parties, and simply boys being boys, our down time has been extremely limited.  But I will now take a little time to summarize our family life over the last few months. 

Beau's brother, wife, and niece came to live with us for a few weeks in June.  During that time, construction began on our basement.  July, we had a visitor for a few weeks from Florida live with us and watching over him occupied our every second of the day.  August was busy trying to get the house in order from all the construction, moving around bedrooms, and having the kids home all summer.  This was a huge undertaking and took longer than it should have.  We also spent time in August getting all the school supplies and clothing ready for the new school year.

This summer we spent some time at the beach.  Although we knew the waters would be cold, we got to experience it first hand.  We learned that 3 out of the 4 boys LOVED the water, even though it was extremely frigid.  The 4th boy, Oliver, only slightly tolerated the sand and did manage to stick a toe in the water.  Beau, for the sake of the boys, dealt with the cold water.  I, on the other hand, enjoyed burying my feet in the sand and relaxing in my chair and watching the boys have fun.

We finally caught an Ollie smile

William and Carter were inseparable at the beach 

Oliver trying to gain the courage to touch the sand

Finally got him into the sand

William and Carter enjoying the sand together

Our visitor this summer

We found a little playground near the beach

During the summer, William turned 7.  Sometimes I look at him and can't believe how grown up he seems and other times, when his silliness comes out I remember quickly his age.  He has been a true joy in our family.  He can be quite the instigator and provoker, but when he's not doing this, he's such a love.

School started off well and everyone seems to be settling into their own routine.  Although the three little ones are not used to attending school for a full day until now, they have handled the transition fairly well.  Carter, however, takes a daily nap sprawled out on the office floor.  I do not understand why that is his preferred spot, but if the house becomes silent, you can almost guarantee you will find him sound asleep in "his" location.

Then the soccer season started up.  Zander is on 2 leagues this time, the high school JV team, and a local rec team.  Zander is finding that he is well equipped to play offense now where before he always felt comfortable playing defense.  But since Zander has some fancy footwork and possesses a quick and accurate kick on goal, he is showing his talent playing the "striker" position for the JV team.  Keeping up with his schedule is almost impossible.  William is playing soccer again this season and loves it.  He is quite good in defense and has also scored a few goals.  William is the kind of kid the coach can put anywhere and he will do his 110% best with a good attitude and with much determination.  Oliver opted to lay low this season and not play a sport, but he loves watching his brothers play.  Carter is also playing in two leagues as he is quite athletic.  He is playing on a local team that will hopefully transition to a traveling competitive team and he is also playing on a rec team.  He has scored many goals and it is obvious that he LOVES the sport.  However, he has decided that he would rather play football where he is "allowed to push".  Although he isn't pushing in soccer, he certainly plays aggressively as he leans into the other players.  This leaning is frowned upon in the younger leagues, but it is allowed in the upper leagues and will serve him well.

At the end of the school year in May, the school gave us a gift for each of our 3 little guys for one free horseback riding lesson.  Apparently a family in our school donated 3 coupons for horseback lessons and instructed the school to give it to whom they wanted.  As a staff, they felt that it would be a neat opportunity for my 3 boys.  I kept it a secret for 4 months because instructions were it had to be used between June-September.  Since our summer was so crazy, we used it at basically the last chance we could.  I would like to report that all boys LOVED the experience, but that was not the case.  They were all apprehensive, but Will went first.  He got to groom the horse which helped establish a relationship with him.  Once Will climbed on the horse, he had so much fun.  Then it was Ollie's turn.  After much coaxing and reassuring him, he decided he was not going to ride that horse unless he could ride with one of his brothers.  So we put Carter on next.  In true Carter fashion, he rode that horse with his huge grin.  Although initially Carter was frightened of the horse, he became comfortable very quickly.  We were able to talk Oliver into getting on the horse with Carter.  I truly believed that once he was on the horse, he would lighten up.  But, he did not.  He rode for a few minutes, but then wanted off.  At least he tried it and I am grateful he got the chance.

William and Oliver have decided to join cub scouts this year and Beau and I are thrilled.  This is such a fabulous program and nurtures the bond between dads and their sons.  What more fun can a boy have than camping, touring a battleship, learning to pitch a tent and tell stories around a bonfire.  Oh, and Beau will be their den leader.  Beau is an Eagle Scout and that is an honor not to be taken lightly.  Boys are taught so many life skills that will follow them forever.  I am excited to see Will and Ollie have this opportunity.

  Carter is patiently waiting until he is old enough to join.  He already knows the scout promise.  He memorized it while Will and Ollie were learning it.  It brings a smile to my face each time I hear them practice the promise. 

Now we are into the holiday season and my favorite time of year.  The temperatures are changing and the winter clothes are coming out of the spare closet.  Boots, scarves, hats...yippee!  Hot chocolate, pumpkin bread, chili!  Oh, it just doesn't get better than this. 

I have taken on a new role in my church and I have been so blessed to be a part of it.  I am co-teaching a women's bible study and it is quite an undertaking for me.  I have learned so much.  Back in the Spring, I had prayed for God to help me have the obedience and discipline to study the bible because unfortunately I was finding excuses to not be doing this on my own.  Shortly after this prayer, I was approached by the women's teaching leader to come along side her and help lead the study.  Although I was nervous about this, I knew it was exactly where God wanted me.  So, I accepted and it has been a true blessing.  I feel that I have grown in my knowledge and understanding and I love the ladies in our class.  I always walk away from our studies learning something new and in full admiration with these Godly women.  What a treasure they are. 

We had a wonderful Halloween and even had family to share in the memories.  Beau and I have missed our holidays in Florida because it was always a time where we opened our home and invited friends.  Such wonderful memories.  But this year, we shared our Halloween with Ben, Katie, and little Myla.  We are so fortunate to have family near again.  At the end of the evening, Ben and the boys made trades with their candy.  Ben is still a kid at heart and I enjoyed watching this.  Katie was a good sport and was willing to eat the only candy that nobody else wanted, Raisinetts.  Carter was Spider-man and Will was Darth Maul (it's a Star Wars character).  One of the criteria for being a Bennett is the love of Star Wars.  By marriage, I have had to grow a love for these movies too.  Oliver wanted to be Luigi for Halloween and insisted on having the "deluxe" costume that included the hat, mustache, fat suit, and gloves.  Ironically, though, these were the very pieces he took off within the first 5 minutes of wearing the suit due to his sensory issues.  We did manage one quick picture of him in his full costume.

Before Oliver managed to take the "deluxe" pieces off

William (Darth Maul), Ollie (Luigi), and Car (Spiderman)

Myla's first Halloween (she was only a week old last year).  Cutest dragon ever. 

Ben, Katie, and Myla

Ben "protecting" his stash

Ben making a trade with William

William is seriously contemplating the trade

Ben categorizing his goods

My little William got braces this week.  His beautiful grin is plagued with a mouthful of messy teeth.  He has a severe overbite and will have a long road of orthodontics ahead of him.  His orthodontist said William's orthodontic needs alone will pay for one of his children's college education.  Although the doc found that funny, I'm pretty sure I didn't even crack a smile.  I was too worried about the fact that my other 2 boys will need braces too.  Ugh.  Will, as always, was an excellent patient and the doc was amazed at his maturity.  William also had two teeth removed in preparation for his braces and he did so without the use of nitrous.  He's our brave little boy.  He couldn't wait to return to school this morning to show everyone his braces.  He's pretty proud of the fact that he is the only one in 1st grade with braces.  However, I am sure his excitement will wear off pretty quickly once he received his headgear.

Before

After

Proud Selfie

Beau's work is going well and because he had so much time saved up, he was able to take off every single Friday since the beginning of September.  His company is closed every other Friday anyway, so Beau was able to turn in his unused sick/personal/vacation hours so that he could take off the opposite Fridays.  It has been awesome having him around on these Fridays.  In the back of mind, I thought we would use some of those days to get some house projects completed.  However, he had different plans.  After all, these were his days off and he wanted to use them to catch up on 15 years of dates that we have missed since having children.  We really didn't do anything spectacular.  But when you are hanging out with your best friend, any time spent together is spectacular.  Some Fridays we ate out for breakfast, we took in several movies at the theater (and they weren't childrens movies), we ate out for lunch, we took naps, we ran errands, we did some Christmas shopping, but mostly, we connected.  It was just what we needed after having a significantly busy 2014.

Now, we are gearing up for Thanksgiving and a visit from my parents.  Can't wait.  Until next time....

Evolution of the School Year

As I was making my childrens' lunches this morning, filling up their water bottles, and preparing their snacks today for school, I had to chuckle.  I take extra effort to be sure their snacks and lunches are filled with lots of healthy choices, high protein, low sugary items.  I cut up the yummy watermelon, peel the cucumbers, wash the tomatoes, and lovingly pack everything away into their neat and tidy backpacks.  I package their spoons and forks into their napkins and draw a smiley face on it.  I make a hot breakfast each morning catered to each child's preferences.  I wake extra early so that I can shower and get dressed only to arrive at the school looking "ready for the day".  We are always within the first 5 cars at the school because we arrive early rather than late.  On three occasions, we have been the 2nd car in line.  That mom with the white Kia keeps beating me for the 1st position.  She must get up even earlier than I do.  I will be first one day :)  I am sneakily competitive that way.  My van is clean and free of any garbage or toys.  It is freshly vacuumed.  The three littles hop out of the van and enthusiastically skip through the door to enter their classroom.  I drive away happy. 

I chuckle at all of this because I know that sometime after Spring Break next year, it will be all I can do to manage to get them to school on time.  Forget even trying to be one of the lead 5 cars.  Their snacks will probably consist of a granola bar and pretzels.  They will be lucky to get a bowl of cereal for breakfast.  Their backpacks will be falling apart.  But instead of buying them a new one, I will try to figure out a way to rig them (probably involving tape and glue).  My van will look like a tornado ran through it and as the van door slides open so the kids can exit, I am sure garbage will fall out.  The boys will no longer be skipping to school, rather, they will look like sloths as I try to prod them out of the van.  I, of course, will be contemplating wearing my pajamas to drop them off.  It's not like I have to get out of the van anyway I will tell myself as I am trying to justify that pajamas make proper attire for taking kids to school.  I drive away looking, well, tired and rough. 

This is the first year in 7 1/2 years that I have had no children at home during the day.  Can't you just hear me squeal with excitement?  I have almost 7 hours during the day now to be kid-free.  Now, please don't misunderstand.  I LOVE my kids.  But I am finding out that I LOVE my quiet time too.  It has been almost magical to have quiet time. I don't even turn on the tv most days.  But if I wanted to watch tv, I get to use the remote all by myself.  I get to eat lunch without being interrupted.  If I want to take a nap, by golly, I can (although I haven't done that yet).  I can talk on the phone without constantly having to apologize for the noise in the background.  My husband has every other Friday off and we have declared those days as sacred.  Last Friday, we went to the movies.  It was so weird seeing a movie in the daytime on a weekday.  I almost felt like we were doing something wrong or sneaky.  But it was awesome.  The theater was practically empty.  Then we went to lunch and simply had a wonderful day.  It's amazing how just a few hours alone with your husband can change your mood and refresh you for the upcoming week. 

Anyway, I am thankful to report that so far all four boys like school.  This is the first year that the three littles are in school full time.  This new schedule has taken a toll on them however.  They are exhausted by 6pm each evening.  Oliver falls asleep in the chair by 6:30pm each night only to be carried to bed by his dad.  Carter insists he's not tired, but we frequently find him sprawled out on the office floor with thumb in mouth and sound asleep.  William begs to stay up late, but his eyes begin glazing over by 7:30pm.  Zander made the high school soccer team again this year and after practice, he comes home, eats a snack large enough to feed our entire family, takes a shower, and then takes a nap before doing homework.  Needless to say, the school year is in full swing.  But, here are their happy "first day of school" pictures.  Perhaps this year, I should also take a "last day of school" picture just for kicks. 

Here's proof that Carter's "not" tired.  Not sure why he chooses the office floor.



It's only 5:15 and he's out cold!!!

Learning to Cope When God Closes the Door

Big decisions are often very hard to make, especially when many lives are impacted.  Earlier this year, our family was asked to consider adopting an 11 year old boy, and who is Carter's half-brother.  After months of praying and in full obedience to God, we kept walking through the doors just knowing God had led us down this path.  With each hoop we jumped through, it was abundantly clear that our family should proceed.  We met Amarrion via Skype, we met him in person as a family in April and we just kept getting confirmations that we should proceed to the next step.  We made all necessary preparations including buying a minivan, building an addition in the basement to accomodate each child, and finalizing our home study.  Each step of the long process just always felt right.  The next huge step was to have Amarrion come for a visit for three weeks.  The family was very excited, although, also nervous.  You never KNOW a person until you LIVE with him.  The good days were pleasantly good and the rough days were overly rough.  Each evening, Beau and I would literally just fall into bed without much conversation.  We were exausted, but still hopeful (most days). 

I don't believe that either one of us were naive about the situation.  We knew it would be tough, we knew there would be obstacles, we were prepared for undesirable behaviors, and we knew that Amarrion had little nurturing and love over the years.  The elementary school was prepared to bring in what ever services needed to help him be successful academically.  Our church was very supportive and some even stepped up offering to be mentors to Amarrion.  Beau and I felt a sense of community with this upcoming change.  Besides, it takes a village, does it not?  But we also felt it was worth the struggle in order to put two brothers together who would never have known each other otherwise.  Family is important and with so many broken homes in the world, we were delighted to try to bring one back together.  It all sounds like a Hallmark movie, doesn't it? 

And although the foster agency was fairly forthcoming with information regarding this young boy, the sad truth is that he is a victim of a broken system.  The agency wants what is best for their children and many people have their "hearts in the right places", so to speak.  But the reality of the situation comes down to money, rules, parental rights, and lack of adequate help.  Caseworkers are over-worked and severely underpaid, there aren't enough funds in the system to adequately care for the needs of each child, and birth parents are given far more rights than they deserve.  I am sorry if I sound harsh or bitter, but I feel that I have been around the system enough to make this kind of educated opinion.  Foster parents taking in broken children with pitifully sad pasts and instead of using the state funds to assist the child to enrich their lives and better their circumstances, using those funds for personal use.  Sickening.  Foster parents going on family vacations, but leaving their fosters behind.  Foster parents taking family photos, but leaving out the fosters.  Foster parents rationing their formula they receive from their WIC checks, only to leave the babies crying from hunger.  We all know that the WIC program does not provide enough food, it is simply to help subsidize.  Foster parents get a small check each month from the state to provide for these children.  They already came from broken homes, so why are they continuing to be placed in broken foster homes?  We should be ourtaged.  Foster parents that put their fosters in an after school program where homework is to be completed only so that the parents don't have to be "bothered with doing homework with their foster child".  How is this any better than where the child started?  Oh, well, ok.  In a foster home, the foster parents are tested for substance abuse and a criminal background check is completed.  But beyond that?  How can we expect these children to love themselves and find value in themselves when the people that are caring for them do not express this?   Oh, I have so many stories that I could share. I have personally met foster children that were being neglected in their foster homes, but I think most people already know that the foster care system is broken. 

Anyway, many people asked me, "What would be the reason you didn't proceed with the adoption?"  The only answer that Beau and I had for this was if the safety of our other 4 children were to be compromised.  In the three weeks that Amarrion was with us, we had so many tender moments.  It was precious to see Amarrion and Carter connect (even though Carter didn't know that Amarrion was his half brother).  Amarrion helped Beau teach William to ride a bike with no training wheels.  Oliver enjoyed playing with Amarrion.  Zander and he even had good times together.  But at the end of the day, it was abundantly clear that Amarrion was deeply broken, beyond what I or Beau could help.  I admire parents that have the ability, love, and compassion to take in older children and pour their entire selves into these children and help them turn into happy and healthy adults.  I thought we would be those kind of parents.  Without getting into the details, because the details do not matter,
Beau and I were given a clear sign on Amarrion's last day here that we could not protect our other 4 children from some of his behaviors.  And although I was still clinging onto caring for Amarrion, I turned to God.  I stayed awake almost all night long praying.  I begged for God to clearly tell me how to proceed.  The next morning I awoke with a sense of peace and an answer.  Beau had the same sense of peace and clear decision as well.  I flew home early that morning with Amarrion knowing that this would probably be the last time I would see him.  We knew that not proceeding with the adoption was the right decision for our family, but I was completely heart broken.  I learned to love Amarrion despite his brokeness.  Doesn't God love his children despite our brokeness and wickedness?  I kept asking myself why did God bring us this far into this journey only to abruptly end it?  I may never know.  But I have to be content with knowing that through the entire journey, Beau and I were completely obedient (even when we were scared and hesitant). 

Now our prayers have changed for Amarrion.  We pray for this safety, salvation, and for him to receive the therapy he needs to grow into a happy and healthy adult.  In the meantime, our family will continue to send him cards and gifts in the mail.  We will love him from afar.  God will do the rest.

Being a control freak might actually be a bad thing

Over the last month, I have learned some new things about myself.  Well, let me re-phrase.  I haven't learned new things, I have just learned how my characteristics can have a negative effect.  I am a control freak and it may be causing me some problems.  I apparently don't like things to be disorderly.  I have trouble thinking clearly when my house is not kept in a certain order.  People do things differently than me and perhaps that is ok.  Although we are called to be hospitable, it's hard. 

Keeping a clean and orderly house is ok.  There are many reasons that a neat house makes sense.  I want my children to know the value of taking care of the things that God has given to us.  For sanitary reasons alone a clean house is important.  Do my canned foods have to be organized by likeness?  I don't think so.  Do my pots and pans have to have their handles pointing in the same direction?  Probably not.  Do all of my glasses have to line up a certain way?  No.  Does it matter if the kids cups and plates are color coordinated?  Of course it doesn't.  But do I fret over these things.  Sadly, yes.  I guess it is possible that I may be a little OCD.  I certainly do not mean to make light of such a disorder because I know people truly struggle with this.  It interferes with their ability to lead a normal life is some cases.  I used to tease that me being OCD was a gift not a diagnosis.   But over the last month, I have learned that having a clean house has become a source of pride.....to the point of having physical ailments.  I already kind of knew this from a lesson I learned last year, but this time God made it abundantly clear.  I stress over the things that simply are not that big of a deal.  Stress causes physical problems. 

I have had the wonderful opportunity to have my in-laws stay with us over the last month as they were waiting for their house to be ready to move into.  They just moved here from Nevada and Beau and I are so excited to have family live here in town with us.  What a blessing it is to have family near.  We have missed that for the last 3+ years.  We love Ben and Katie and their little munchkin, Myla.  They are a neat family and I personally have learned so much from Katie.  She is a kindergarten teacher, a healthy eater, and a wonderful mom to Myla.  Apparantly there are different ways to fold a towel that are more space saving and efficient than how I have been doing it for years.  Who knew?  And, I learned a new faster way to poach eggs.  But more than that, she's a pretty fun girl to hang out with.  Although she describes herself as quirky, I find her endearing.  Prior to this past month, my interactions with Katie have been sparse so I haven't had the opportunity to really get to know her. 

When you share your home with 2 additional adults, a baby, and 2 dogs to your already large family with a chaotic schedule, changes have to be made.  Both families have to make concessions, be flexible, be tolerant, adjust lifestyles, and simply be patient.  My boys fell instantly in love with Myla.  I truly believed that after a few days, their enthusiasm would wane, but each day was filled with a new excitment for their sweet cousin.  Although they were never rough with Myla, they never understood the law of "boundaries".  Poor Myla had 3 little faces within inches of her own face for 30 days.  But only when she was awake.  LOL

My boys had never had any experience with dogs either.  Because Beau is allergic to pet dander, Ben and Katie out of courtesy, kept their dogs on the back porch.  Dogs and running loud boys who like to taunt dogs didn't work very well.  My youngest, especially, liked to run up to the porch and tease the dogs.  This, of course, would cause the dogs to bark.  Those poor dogs.  In the end, even after 30 days, the dogs did not like Carter.  In fact, they growled at him even when Carter was just walking by and acting appropriately.  I know Rosco and Teddy are happy to be back in the house now as Ben and Katie just moved this week into their new property. 

I had the opportunity to love on my niece.  It was awesome having a baby girl in the house.  That was a new experience for me and one that I loved.  Myla has a huge smile, loves to study situations, and has a calm pesonality.  And she's BEAUTIFUL.  Did I mention she's a girl?  Finally, a little more estrogen in the house.  Woohoo.  God may have never given me a girl to raise, but I have a little niece in town that I can love on. 

During their time here, Katie worked one on one with my kids.  They made play-doh together.  They practiced writing sentences and sight words together, and Carter worked on his name with Katie.  She taught me some new strategies to try with Carter as he has trouble focusing.  I never saw her in the classroom, but I can only guess she is probably one of the best kindergarten teachers out there.  How lucky New Hampshire will be to have her on their teaching staff. 

Ben and Katie helped us get ready for our home study last week.  She helped me clean the house.  In fact, she finished almost the entire first floor for me so I could focus on other tasks.  She and I worked well together.  They were great house guests and I feel that I benefited from their stay. 

Now that the 30 days are gone and they have moved out, I am finding myself already missing having them here.  I know they are happy to get settled down in their new home and begin making new memories here in New Hampshire and I am happy to have full use of the bedrooms once again, but I have learned some valuable lessons.  Family is important.  Eternal things matter.  Temporal things can get taken care of when time allows.  Seizing every teachable moment is essential.  Now I not only have a sister in law, but now I have a friend. 

Ben and Katie, thank you for your patience, generosity, friendship, and support.  We love you guys and we're so glad you are here. 

We weren't looking to grow our family, but......

Beau warned me not to make statements like, "I don't want any more children", or "I am so glad our family is complete", or "I am done."  In 2008, God called our family to foster children.  That took a leap of faith to make that decision.  However, it was that decision that led to the adoption of Oliver and Carter and for that, I am very thankful.  Beau and I prayed over and wrestled with that decision for months.  Honestly, it was me holding up our decision.  If you want the history of that time in our lives, you can read Our Beginning Foster Story. 

When you foster, you are agreeing to take in someone else's child and love them as your own.  You also agree to treat them as your own, knowing full well, that one day that child that you have come to love may leave and return to their biological family.  In the 3 years that our family fostered, we only had 3 children come into our home:  2 boys and 1 girl.  The girl was returned to her biological family after only being with us for 4 months.  However, the boys, Oliver and Carter, became ours after long and emotional struggles that finally led to an adoption.  But, they were babies and essentially I was more comfortable with that because we could help mold them into happy little boys.  Babies for some reason didn't scare me.  Although they both had their own baggage, if you will, to deal with, I felt that I had more time to help them heal the damage.  Babies didn't come with their own "set ways" and "habits" yet.  I could not have been more wrong about that, by the way.  We are still dealing with leftover issues as a result of their history and background. 

In January, things in the Bennett household were becoming easier and more calm.  Oliver was responding well to his meds, school was going well for all 4, we were feeling settled into our new home, Beau was blessed with a nice raise, and in general, we were enjoying a quality family life.  But then, we get a phone call from Carter's former guardian ad litem.  Doesn't God just work that way?  Always stretching, always providing ways for us to know that we NEED Him?  The GAL informed us that Carter had an 11 year old biological brother that needed a home.  We were presented with this decision almost 2 years ago, but at that time, we didn't feel that we were in any position to take in Carter's brother.  Between Oliver spiraling out of control, Beau's job didn't feel secure yet, we didn't own a home in NH, we just couldn't justify an additional child.  And quite frankly, we were scared.  It is easy to come up with excuses when you are fearful.  Clearly God wasn't done with us though because here was this situation all over again.  But this time, He changed our circumstances.  We didn't have the same arguments as before.  He removed our ability to easily find excuses.  Rather, this time He cleared the path.  Beau and I agonized over this and prayed fervently for God to show us if and how to proceed.  The GAL helped ease us into this by offering to host skype sessions with him (we'll just call him Mr. A for now).  We skyped with Mr. A just a couple of times and we could clearly see that the sessions went well and were smooth.  The next step was to fly to Florida and meet Mr. A in person.  Up until this point, however, I was simply being obedient to our call.  I was looking for red flags, hoping that God would call this whole thing off, perhaps work some other miracle for Mr. A that didn't include us.  There are far more qualified parents than me and Beau out there that could help him.  I was convinced that we were not a good choice as we have a very busy and often times chaotic home.  I was scared, doubtful, and wanting to remain in my comfort zone.  I wanted good things for Mr. A and I wanted him to receive help, but I just didn't want to mess with my newly found "easy" life.  I went to Florida praying that God would provide me with peace and a clear knowledge of His plan for us. 

Beau and I had dinner with Mr. A our first night in Florida.  It was just the three of us and it went very smoothly.  In fact, he opened up quite a bit about himself.  He freely talked about his "issues" and showed genuine remorse for some of his recent bad decisions.  Beau and I talked about grace and how we love our children even when they make bad decisions.  He spoke lovingly of his birth mother.  Oh, how he misses her.  But God worked that out too.  Back when we celebrated Carter's 1st birthday, we invited his mom to join us.  We took lots of pictures and I gave her a set.  At that time, we weren't sure where Carter would end up, so we wanted to bond with his birthmother as much as we could.  We wanted there to be a nice relationship and we didn't want her to miss out on such a sweet milestone in Car's life.  Well, anyway, she showed Mr. A those pictures of the party, which included pictures of Beau and I.  Apparently, she spoke very lovingly about us to Mr. A.  Those words stuck with him and he was able to have a sense of warmth in his heart towards us.  That was God working already 4 years ago.  I get chill bumps everytime I have a God moment.  I know He works in this way, but to realize it feels like the first time each time.  It is just another sign that we were proceeding as He designed for us. 

During dinner, Beau was completely open with Mr. A.  Beau told him that we would like to be his forever family, but that Mr. A had to make that choice for himself.  Mr. A was certainly big enough and old enough to decide for himself and that we would never try to force this transistion on him.  Mr. A was very concerned about moving to the cold weather and was worried that he didn't have the property clothing.  Beau was so loving with Mr. A and assured him that we would provide adequate snow gear.  We talked about Carter and their biological relationship.  By the end of the night though, Mr. A was still kind of undecided.  We would tell he wanted to come, but was scared. 

The next afternoon, we met Mr. A at a public park.  All 5 boys were doing well, but were playing independently of one another.  But then a storm came, so we all piled in the van and drove to Dairy Queen.  Then it happened.  The thing we were most fearful of.  Oliver's reaction and response to Mr. A.  Once Ollie realized that Mr. A was riding with us, he responded negatively.   He said, "Why is HE in our car?"  Beau patiently explained that Mr. A was our friend and that we were spending time getting to know him.  Of course Ollie didn't like that and said "I don't want him in here."  Quickly, Zander tried to recover the situation and prevent any hurt feelings by changing the subject and asking what everyone wanted at Dairy Queen.  When we got out of the van, Ollie had clearly changed his mind about Mr. A and was begging to sit next to him inside the ice cream shop.  Mr. A was confused by this sudden change of affection and asked me about it.  I responsed with, "Well, obviously Ollie likes you now.  And if Ollie likes you, then you must be good."  Thankfully Mr. A was good with that.  Whew. 

Inside Dairy Queen, with all 5 kids, things went extremely well.  They all 5 interacted well together-surprisingly.  Then Mr. A spotted a coin machine.  You know the ones where you drop in a coin and watch it spin.  Well, Mr. A asked for a penny and so I gave him my entire change purse.  All 5 boys were glued to the contraption as they joyfully watched their coins spin.  Then, my God moment hit again.  I looked over at 5 smiling boys playing nicely with one another and just KNEW in my heart that we were meant to be a family of 7.  An overwhelming sense of peace and excitment fell over me and I just KNEW. 

After we took him home, I gave him a picture of our boys and we hugged him goodbye.  Beau told him that the ball was in his court and that he needed to decide how to proceed.  The next morning, we got a phone call from the guardian ad litem and she told us that Mr. A's foster parents were amazed by his transformation and how excited and happy he appeared.  He came in that evening after our Dairy Queen visit and cleaned his room like he had never done before.  He announced to his foster family that he was moving to NH after school let out.  All of this change just because we told him we cared and we wanted to invest in him.  Amazing!!! 

Once Mr. A was back in the house with his foster family, Beau had a talk with the boys.  Before he could even finish the conversation about the possible addition to our family, Ollie yelled out in excitement.  The one that we were most concerned about was the first one to show enthusiasm for another brother.  God moment.  Yes, I think so.

He requested one final meeting with us before we went back to NH.  I wasn't able to come, but Beau and the boys met again at a park.  It was for only an hour, but even the guardian ad litem was amazed to see the developing bond that was already ocurring.  I know once he moves here, things will not always be this easy.  I know that he will test the waters, test our authority, perhaps resent being away from Florida, maybe fight with his brothers, etc.  But when these times happen, I will rest in the knowledge that I KNOW God put this together and we were meant to be a family. 

In the mean time, Beau and I have a ton of things to prepare for his arrival.  Another home study, building an additional room, buying a van, and organizing the basement.  God is good and our whole family is very excited of what is to come.  However, I will be sure not to tell God that I am done ever again.  We wouldn't want to tempt him.  LOL.

Finding the Humor Amid the Dysfunction

You know the day is going to be rough when it starts out like our Easter began.  But, if you think optimistically, and I do have to make myself do this sometimes, you could convince yourself that you have the entire day for things to improve.  I have a tendancy to see the glass is half empty.  Bruce, however, would measure the liquid in the glass and tell me exactly the percentage just how full/empty the glass was.  He would never be concerned with whether the cup was full or empty, rather, just the quantative facts.  He is a realist.  We really are quite opposites in every way, but somehow, we work very well together, well, mostly.

Regardless of our philosphies about optimism, pessimisim, or realism, our day never improved.  William, who is the only one of the littles that knows there are no such things as Tooth Fairies, Easter Bunnies, or Santa Clause, was the first one to wake up on Easter morning.....at 5:30am.  Now, I am still recovering from being very ill and my energy has not returned to full capacity, so this 5:30am wake up call was not well received by me.  We made him lay down a little longer and wait for his brothers to wake in hopes of gaining a little more much needed sleep.  Just as we were about to drift into dream land again, the other two were standing at the edge of our bed.  So at this point, we knew additional sleep was a lost cause.  Therefore, our Easter festivities began. 

Once the boys enjoyed their baskets and we hunted the hidden eggs in the living room we had breakfast.  I tried to return to my bed and sleep, but that didn't work.  Once the boys found me, it was all over.  After I got over mourning the loss of sleep, I hopped in the shower hoping it would revitalize me.  On Sunday mornings, Beau and I have a system.  He makes breakfast for everyone (and medicates Ollie) while I get ready for church.  Once I am almost finished, I make sure the boys are getting dressed and brushing their teeth so that we can leave on time.  We only live about 2 miles from the church, and yet, we still never manage to get there early.  We do arrive on time, usually, but never early (which is Beau's preference).   In the midst of our altered sunday morning schedule, neither one of us medicated Ollie.  We only realized this when we entered the church and he all of the suddenly began crying over the tag I forgot to remove from his shirt.  Once Oliver began crying, then Carter started too.  I asked Car what was wrong and he decided he was starving.  Now I know this wasn't possible because he JUST ate.  So at this point, I was just waiting for William to begin crying.  Thankfully, he didn't. 

However, we made it to the back row of the church.  Beau and I used to be front row church members, but having 3 wiggly people, we sit in the back as not to disturb anyone.  Once I sat down, I figured things would get better.  They HAD to.  But no.  I look down at my dress that I was so proud of that morning and realized that I looked hideous.  A complete wardrobe malfunction.  Let's just say I am typically a modest dresser, and this morning didn't follow suit.  I just wanted to hide.  Anyway, we made it through church with only minor infractions from Oliver and Carter. 

We came home and spent the afternoon playing outside.  The sun was shining but the temperature was refreshing.  Just an absolutely beautiful day.  The boys took turns hiding eggs for each other.  They were having a blast.....until everyone was muddy, dirty, soaking wet, and this mom was quite irritated.  Their innocent game of egg hunting turned into EXTREME EGG HUNTING.  I really shouldn't be surprised each time my boys show up at the back door filthy.  But for some reason, I am always shocked.  We live on a property where behind our fence line, we have lots of woods and a small stream, which is still part of our property.  It's a great place for boys to find adventure and get into trouble.  I began working in the kitchen and suddenly I had a knock at the back door.  There stood 4 muddy, soaked boys.  Their faces were dirty, their pants were wet, and their shoes and socks were DISGUSTING.  If it hadn't been a little on the cooler side, I would have stripped them and hosed them down before entering the house.  Anyway, let 's just say I then had a filthy kitchen.  Ugh.

Playing with a weed feeder.  Don't ask!!
 

  I decided that this day would be a wonderful day for our first dinner outside of the season.  Beau was already planning on cooking out, but he wanted to eat indoors saying that it would soon be too chilly to eat outside.  However, I had my heart set on eating on the back deck.  So, being a loving husband, he and Zander cleaned our patio table and set it up along with the chairs.  Just as the sun was beginning to hide and the day was turning dusk, we sat down to eat dinner.  The very first thing out of my mouth (without thinking obviously) was how chilly it was.  Man, if looks could kill!  He was not my number one fan at this point.  So, I happily sat there eating dinner with my jacket on (so did Will). 

For some people, this day could be just as it was.  One little let down after another, a series of slip ups, moments of dysfunction, or just life.  But for others, we can let these things go and realize the bigger picture.  We have hope and grace because of a resurrected Savior.  Easter is a time of family, a time of egg hunting and decorating, and perhaps family "messes".  But it is ALL about our Christ and how he died and rose again.  That power is with us and gives us the hope to go on, even on days that don't go as we wish.  Humor and the ability to laugh at ourselves helps too.  Hope you had a lovely Easter.  Love from the Bennett's. 

Spring Time in New Hampshire

Spring came late in New Hampshire this year.  The calendar revealed spring began March 20, but we actually had a light dusting of snow on that day.  But here we are in April, and finally we have had a few days of driving with the sunroof open, enjoying the curtains blow in the breeze from the open windows, listening to birds chirp, and watching the grass as it slowly turns green once again.  Spring in New England is much different than Spring in Florida.  There is an actual gradual increase in temperatures and you can literally see things come alive.  In Florida, you go from an almost cool winter and straight into the heat of what you believe feels like summer, but in reality, it it not.  I believe that there really is only two kinds of weather in Florida:  hot and hotter.  Oh, and throw some rain in there.  Florida is one of those places where when it rains, it just feels hotter.  It's not refreshing, cleansing, or cooling.  It just brings more mosquitoes and humidity.  Blah. 

Although I haven't brought out my flip flops yet, I am enjoying this weather currently.  It is beautiful.  The sun feels warm on your skin while the breeze refreshes you and prevents you from becoming too warm.  We even had a day warm enough to play in the sprinklers.  As Beau and I worked in the yard doing some spring cleaning, the boys thoroughly enjoyed cooling down in the water. 

 Spring also marks the beginning of sports for our family.  This year, three out of the four boys wanted to play recreational soccer again, but Oliver was insistent he wanted to try t-ball.  He has requested this for a couple of years now, but only until recently did we feel he was ready to give it a try.  As it turns out, he's actually pretty good.  He had his first game today and he played well.  Oliver scored a home run and he even played well in outfield.  He almost was successful in getting somebody out.  For a boy who doesn't like being the center of attention or wearing any kind of hat, Oliver did exceptionally well.

He was able to hit the ball, while onlookers paid attention to him and he wore a helmet with no complaint.  These two items are huge successes for Ollie.  Whether or not Oliver will ever be the MVP on his team has never been important.  But the fact that he is stepping outside his comfort zone and doing something WITHOUT his brothers is something to be proud of.  I am so excited to see what the remainder of the season will look like.  I am praying for growth in his confidence and skill and I hope to see lots of smiles. 

Last week, the other boys began their soccer seasons.  We are so spoiled now because the field is less than half a mile from our house and we can walk there and not get caught up in the parking mess.  Even though our little town consists of only 8800 people, the sports fields are packed.  Being so close to the fields, I could hear the announcements this morning during the opening baseball ceremonies.  I love it!!!

Carter has only played soccer about 2 seasons previously and they weren't overly successful.  He thought he was playing football and knocked over most players and even coaches.  Not one of his finest moments.  But, this time, Carter finally showed signs of understanding the rules of the game and showed respect for other players.  I wasn't there to see it, but Beau said Carter actually played soccer this time and played by the rules.  So, I see this as success. 

 

 

He's one of the youngest on the team, and one of the biggest. 

William moved up to an older league this year making him one of the youngest (and definitely smallest) on his team.  But as always, Will played his best and enjoyed being social.  He is a good runner and always plays with the best attitude.  Another success. 

Look at his fancy footwork. 

Zander hasn't had his first game yet so there is little to report there.  They did make a change to the routine this season.  In years past, there haven't always been enough players to have several teams in the U16 league.  Remember, our town is very small.  So, this year, in order to prevent the kids from  playing the same rivaling team over and over again, we will be traveling to a nearby town and have the opportunity to play against "fresh" competition.  It does mean we will have to travel this season, but I guess driving for 1 our of 4 kids isn't too bad. 

This year, William has a new passion.  Tree climbing.  He has longed for years to follow Zander up into a tree, but until this year, he just didn't have the strength.  Boys and trees are quite a pair. 

 

 

Little Bit isn't quite ready yet, but he sure did try.



 

So even though spring arrived late, we are going to enjoy every minute of it.