Summer Fun

School let out for summer on June 21 and all my thoughts were consumed with coming up with enough things to keep the kids busy for the summer.  I really thought it was going to be a long summer and that the weeks would pass slowly as I tried to be creative with things for the kids to do. 

But here I am, the summer almost ending, school beginning in a few days, and I feel like I blinked an eye and it's over.  It's like a blur.  A 120 mph tornado.  I feel rushed to get things ready for school and to finish tidying up the house in preparation for 4 boys being in school this year (woo hoo by the way). 

Our summer had a great mix of exciting adventures and some laid back family time.  It began with a visit from my parents followed by a visit from some dear friends from Florida.  There were many dinners on the back deck as we enjoyed the evenings (until it began to get too warm).  I simply detest the heat and I am not sure how I survived as long as I did in Florida.  Beau dislikes the heat almost as much as I do.  Many days were spent with the boys playing in the sprinklers and eating Popsicles at their picnic table under the swing set.  Speaking of the swing set, the boys became quite active on their new set that Beau built and we have definitely received our money's worth on that purchase. 

 

Later in the summer, Zander spent a week at scout camp and had a wonderful time.  He worked on earning new merit badges and got plenty of chess playing practice with the staff.  I think he secretly enjoyed the chess playing a smidge more than the boy scout stuff, but either way, he had a good time. 

After Zander returned from camp, I celebrated my 40th birthday.  This was a harder event than I had imagined.  I remember at 30 spending the day trying to hold back the tears.  I am not one of those strong women who look at their age as simply a number.

  I wish I did have that outlook because it would make turning older more graceful. But I vowed to not cry at 40 so I didn't.  Although I was a bit gloomy, I kept it inside.  Beau really went out of his way to make me feel special, as he always does.  Dinner and movie date night and a beautiful necklace made turning 40 a little easier to swallow.  

Soon after, I flew to Florida (without kids or hubby) to spend a few days with my parents and friends.  I worked hard at getting the house in excellent condition, the refrigerator stocked full, and all the laundry washed and put away.  It was only 4 days, but I packed it as full as I could and I got to see just about everyone I wanted to.  Beau did a fantastic job keeping the house in order (mostly) and the kids well nurtured while I was away.  He's a great daddy. 

A day after I returned from Florida, Zander had an opportunity to fly to his "other home" too.  He had a great time spending days in Daytona with Beau's grandmother, aunts, uncles, and cousins.  In fact, he was spoiled.  It was like he was an only child again with all the attention he received.  He got to play games with MaNew and help her feed the animals.  She lives on a large 10-acre piece of land with lots of critters to tend to.  His aunt and uncle took him fishing, they taught him to use a compound bow in archery, and they climbed the lighthouse in Ponce Inlet. 

The last half of his trip he spent in Jacksonville with my parents. 
There again, he was spoiled.  They took him clothes and shoe shopping for school.  What a huge relief that was for me!!!  His stuff is so expensive now.  He bought some new books, went to the movies, and hung out in their pool.  One day, he even got to invite a couple of childhood friends over for a short reunion and time spent in the pool.  Zander is so fortunate to have lots of family and to be so loved. 

One of the highlights of this summer was a day spent at Canobie Lake Park.  It's a small theme park about 45 minutes from our home.  We had a blast that day.  Zander roamed the park by himself some of the day so he could ride the "big" rides and Beau and I let the little guys ride things appropriate for them.  We opened the park and closed it down.  The kids did great.  However, we found out from one of the park employees that we had chosen THE busiest day of the year to come.  Oh well, we still had fun. 

The most special event this summer was when William accepted Christ as his Lord and Savior.  Beau came home for lunch and he and I prayed along side Will as he asked Jesus into his heart.  Sweet, sweet time. 

This summer, we also celebrated Carter's adoption day.  It's been 2 years now that he's been a Bennett.  We celebrated William's 6th birthday.....however, his actual party was 6 weeks later.  That will be in a later blog (when I finally get around to it).  Zander had his braces removed and he made the high school junior varsity soccer team.  In between all of that stuff, we fit in school physicals, continuing to organize our house, completed additional interior painting (still much more is needed), trips to the movies, neighborhood party, and every day life with 4 boys.

All and all, we had a great summer filled with many new memories to be cherished for a long time.  But.....I am READY for school to begin. 

William's Birthday Splash

I am so far behind on my blog....as usual.  William had a special birthday this year because it was his first "party".  In the past, we have had very small family gatherings to celebrate our birthdays.  Although those kind of celebrations are quaint, low key, and intimate, William desperately wanted a party.  I'm not a Chuck E Cheese kind of parent, although it does have it's merits.  No clean up, no planning, and kids are entertained.  However, places like that the kids spread out, the parents don't have the opportunity to visit with other parents, they are dark, noisy, and germ infested.  Being a summer month birthday, Will misses out on classroom celebrations at school.  He was so excited that we were finally going to have a "real" birthday party.  The planning of his party began in April (well, Will began planning then).  I, on the other hand, put this together in late July.....already weeks after his actual birthday.  I know, pitiful on my part.  But somehow, my summer got away from me.  We had 3 trips out of town and Ollie had surgery and so on and so on.....and all of the sudden the first day of school was nearing and poor Will had been 6 years old for 6 weeks before we had his party. 

So, a Star Wars party, of course, was finally scheduled and on the calendar.  I even had nice invitations printed up and we ordered a store bought cake for the occasion.  Such simple pleasures, but for William they were firsts for him and were very special.  Since it was a summer party, we ordered an inflatable water slide for the kids.  They had a blast and this was one of the best parties we had ever hosted. 

We had a great system.  Beau help post at the bottom of the slide to catch the kids as they landed into the pool located at the end.  Zander stood at the top of the slide to make sure only one child went down at a time.  I was in charge of chatting with the other parents, which I love.  Only a few classmates were able to attend the party as many of them were still traveling with their families for summer vacations, but Will had a wonderful time.  I think he will remember this party for years to come. 

 

William

Madeline

Oliver



Carter

Zander (yes, the big kids liked it too)

 A little boy can never have too many Legos!!
 

Happy Birthday my sweet Will Will.  We love you very much!!!



Going Home.....to Florida

This past August, I flew to Florida (without kids or hubby) to spend a few days with my parents and friends. I worked hard at getting the house in excellent condition, the refrigerator stocked full, and all the laundry washed and put away. It was only 4 days that I was in Florida, but I packed it as full as I could and I got to see just about everyone I wanted to. My dearest friend, Cami, put together a dinner party and invited families from our church where Beau, Zander, and I were baptized. This was such a special evening. This little church only had a few families and we met for about 3 1/2 years, but it was during this time that we grew to love each one of them. It was under the direction of our dear pastor and friend that this church existed. God had his hand on that church. We may not have grown in numbers, but we grew spiritually. We will always have a special bond with these families. We met each week in each other's home and shared a meal and spent time in the Word. We shared some of the most intimate times of our lives with these friends. We encouraged, loved, supported, prayed, laughed, and cried with these dear friends. Those 3 years will always be one of the most memorable times of my life. Our reunion that evening during my visit was nothing short of wonderful.

The Franklins

The Mickles

Part of the Rices

Cami and I enjoyed our annual birthday lunch (our birthdays are only 2 weeks apart) at a small restaurant that we love. As always, great conversation and time to catch up. We still talk regularly on the phone but our conversations are interrupted. On my way to pick up or drop off someone, on her way to an AP event, in between soccer, guitar, ballet, church, school, homework, doctor's appts, ....well, you get the point! So to actually share a meal with just she and I and to have NO interruptions is special in itself.

I got to see a special friend, Pat, that I used to work with many years ago. She is so inspiring because she is well into her 70's, still works (because she wants to), she and her husband (who is in his 80's) still go camping and kayaking, and stay active with their church. Despite our age difference, I have always had a sweet relationship with this lady.  She is quite an inspiration. 

My friend Pat and her husband Neil

I shared a meal with my friend, Wendy. Wendy and her husband, Bob, is the couple that Beau and I attribute our becoming Christians. Bob and Wendy and their 4 children are such a fun and loving family. Bob and Beau coached soccer together and it was from the sidelines that we could see something different about their family, but we didn't know what it was. We later came to realize that it was their faith. When you have a genuine love for God your joy literally oozes out of you.  They invited us to their church and the rest is history. You never know what will happen if you simply invite someone to church. God works in such big ways.

Bob and Wendy Nones, along with their 4 children

Another dear friend, Lauren, put together an evening at her home where she invited several of our friends from my college (and early Zander) years. It never ceases to amaze me that no matter the time spent apart, we can always reunite with no awkward moments or lapses in conversation. We reconnect and pick up just where we left off. I enjoy these ladies. We used to meet regularly (you know, before we all started having kids and busy lives). We may have even been known to get dirty stares as we shared much laughter around the table at Olive Garden. To this day, I'm not sure why the manager didn't ask us to leave. We have always enjoyed our times together. The stories and memories were just as funny now as they were when they originally happened. Lauren and her husband Tony just bought this beautiful home that had a pool and hot tub. A couple of the ladies left, the the rest of us enjoyed drinks in the hot tub......for hours. We stayed up into the wee hours of the morning continuing to catch up and enjoying each other's company. My friend Tina and I spent the night (well, what was left of it) at Lauren's.  A grown up slumber party!!! 

Lauren and Tony

Tina and Bobby

Best Buddies:  Tina, Lauren, Shanon, and Betsi

My last day there, I got to spend some sweet time with my friend Patty.  I always enjoy being in the company of this lady.   She is easy to talk with and be friends with.   She is such an encourager and loyal friend and I am lucky to know her. 

Patty

And of course I spent time with my parents.  It is always nice to return to the home where I grew up and shared so many great memories.  It's safe, comfortable, and relaxing.  The home has changed so much over the years as my dad has continually updated the interior and has taken on small projects.  Dad becomes antsy if he doesn't have some project to tinker with to keep him busy.  He is very handy and doesn't shy away from trying something new.  I love that about him.  Of course, he always somehow ropes my mom into helping out in some way.  They are quite comical to watch together. 

I am so thankful for my relationships with these families and I sincerely appreciate that my husband understands my need to go home occasionally.  Until our next visit......

Trapped!....by fear

What can I say about my Oliver other than Ollie is Ollie.  I've affectionately used many different terms to describe my Oliver in previous blogs, but until you have spent a great deal of time with him, you just wouldn't understand.  But I will try to share just a little glimpse into his world. 

Oliver has always been a nervous and anxious little guy, even as a baby.  I believed, however, that with time, and with some coping skills, he would learn to overcome his anxiety.  But as Oliver passed through his infancy stages, quickly ran through his toddler days, and is now knocking on the door of kindergarten, it seems as though his anxiety level has increased while his tolerance has decreased.  Certainly not the turn out I would like for him.  None the less, it is the role of a parent to consistently respond with patience, nurturing, love, kindness with just the right dose of discipline. 

In a "normal" world, we all deal with some varying amounts of anxiety, fears, discomforts, and distractions.  But we learn to work through them and move on to the next phase.  We live in a world where our clothes have zippers and buttons and tags.  But not Oliver's clothes.  If I come across pants or shorts that are loose fitting with an elastic waistband, I buy 10 of them.  Sometimes we wear clothes that make us itch, but we manage to get through the day while making a mental note that perhaps more fabric softener would be helpful the next time.  If someone inadvertently brushes up against our arm or shoulder while passing, we don't feel pain.  Sometimes we don't even notice.  If we enter a loud room, we may cringe a bit or become irritated but we don't respond with covering our ears and shutting down.  The sound of the vacuum cleaner does not cause us discomfort.  Annoyance....perhaps.  If the sun is bright, wearing a pair of sunglasses is obvious, but not painful.  Wearing snow pants to play in the snow is logical.  Inconvenient when you need to go potty, but it does not prevent us from playing in the snow.  All of these fears and discomforts afflict Oliver daily.  They are not mere obstacles to be worked around, but they are true issues that paralyze Ollie.  Oliver lives in a world trapped by sensory issues, anxiety, and fears. 
 
Oliver was a year old when his first teeth came in.  It was during that same week that he began walking.  I was excited to witness these fun milestones with him.  His teeth were beautiful and spaced so nicely apart.  I was very diligent with caring for his pretty baby teeth as every parent knows that caring for baby teeth is crucial in having healthy adult teeth.  I started taking him to the dentist when he was 2 1/2.  I should have taken him sooner, but prior to 2 1/2 he was my foster son and had to use a dentist that accepted Medicaid.  In our area at the time, there was only 1 dentist that accepted Medicaid and well, let's just say, I went there once with one of my other foster children and vowed NEVER to return.  So, I continued to diligently care for Ollie's teeth on my own.  When his molars began to come through the surface, they were fine, except for one.  One of them emerged with a brown discoloration.  My dentist checked out the tooth and declared that it was ok and may have occurred due to a fever or the numerous amounts of antibiotics that he received as a baby.  Yes, when he was a baby and before he came to our home, Ollie was literally sick all the time with chronic ear infections.  He would get off of an antibiotic on day 10, and by day 12 had another ear infection and was back on another antibiotic.  But, none the less, I knew that I had to be careful with that tooth as it would be more susceptible to decay. 

Oliver has visited the dentist every six months after his adoption and always tolerated the exam and teeth cleaning.  However, he NEVER would allow x-rays.  But with each dentist visit, his tolerance became less and less.  This past April, he refused to wear the sunglasses when the hygienist wanted to use the bright light while cleaning his teeth.  That was ok because Oliver decided he would rather close his eyes.  Then when she was ready to clean his teeth, Oliver cooperated as long as he was able to dictate which tooth she cleaned each time.  She indulged him, but I am pretty sure that was the most disorganized and sporadic way she ever cleaned somebody's teeth.  There was no rhyme or reason to his pattern.  A tooth here, and tooth there.  I had to turn my head and giggle.  Sometimes that's all you can do.  During this visit, the dentist still maintained that this one brown tooth was decay free but instructed me to continue to watch it and clean it diligently.  In the back of my mind, I KNEW that future dental appointments were going to be increasingly difficult, maybe even impossible. 

Then over a weekend about a month ago Oliver started complaining that his mouth hurt.  It wasn't causing him to stop eating and didn't interrupt his sleep, but it was definitely causing him some discomfort.  So Monday morning, I called the dentist and they were able to work us in that day.  Although Oliver was excited to go to the dentist and have his tooth "fixed", he couldn't get through the exam.  He tried.  He opened his mouth and even let the dentist poke around a little bit.  But Oliver wouldn't allow the water sprayer or the sucky thing.  Please ignore my terms for these, but you all know to what I am referring.  Two things became obvious during this visit:  Oliver had a cavity in that weaker tooth and he was NOT going to cooperate for any method of fixing it.  He wouldn't allow x-rays, putting a mask on his face to administer gas was not an option, and certainly Novocaine wasn't going to happen.  So, the only alternative was to send Ollie to a dentist that "specializes in these sensitive cases."  Although I was not surprised, I was disheartened because I knew what that meant. 

So, that same week, we were able to be seen by the specialist.  Once again, Oliver allowed the dentist to look in his mouth and ALMOST touch his tooth, but that was the extent of the visit.  Oh sure, they tried to get x-rays.  Oliver went further with this than he had ever gone before.  (I knew that his tooth was hurting bad enough to try to cooperate with the x-rays).  He actually sat in the chair.  But as soon as the hygienist put that heavy vest on his chest, he freaked out.  I don't mean just freaked out, but I mean he went crazy with fear and anxiety.  Screaming, kicking off his shoes, and shaking.  So in an effort to not traumatize him further, we quickly took the vest off and I proceeded to pick him up and hold him all while he continued to shake.  My heart hurt for him because I truly began to see to what extent his fears and sensory issues hold him back. 

After this event, the dentist recommended that Oliver's next and only solution would be to have his dental work and x-rays done under anesthesia and in a hospital.  But due to the large waiting list, Oliver's appointment was scheduled for August 21.  Over the last couple of weeks, Oliver would come to me and say he was ready to go to a dentist.  I was relieved, until Oliver put restrictions on his request.  He asked if I would "find a new dentist, one that wouldn't touch him or take pictures of his mouth."  He began crying when he ate because the tooth was becoming increasingly painful.  I would pray each day hoping for another solution because pacifying him with Motrin until August 21 didn't seem like the best option.  Then I received a call this week and there was a cancellation for today.  So as I am sitting here writing this blog, Beau and Ollie are in the car heading to the hospital.  Poor Ollie is so excited to be having an outing with daddy, but he has no idea, YET, where they are headed.  I lovingly packed Ollie's favorite Spider-Man blanket and stuffed elephant and that is about all the preparation I could offer.  You see, you don't tell someone living with anxiety and fear ahead of time something like you are going to be put to sleep, a needle will be stuck into your vein, there will be a mask on your face, and they are going to take pictures of your teeth, use a drill, put on a crown and do a tiny root canal.  Of course, with a child NOT dealing with sensory and anxiety problems, you wouldn't need to tell them ALL of that either.  But just mentioning he would be going to the dentist again would be too much information for him ahead of time.  As much as I would like to be there with Ollie this morning to hold him and hug him, Beau is the better parent for this situation.  Oliver has a tendency to control himself better when Beau is around.  I have a softer spot and tend to baby him in times like these.  So, I will sit here and pray for an uneventful surgery, quick recovery, and no traumatization.  I will also pray for Beau to be patient and strong. 

Pre-K Graduation

I am not even sure how I missed writing and posting this blog.  After all, graduating from Pre-K is such a pivotal stepping stone in a little guys life.  Will and Oliver's last day of school was on June 13 and the teachers, parents, and students celebrated this special day with a walk crossing the "bridge to kindergarten" and an ice cream party.  Beau was out of town and Zander was still in school, so Carter and I happily celebrated with Will and Oliver. 

First, we watched a tear inducing video of the students over the course of the school year.  What a neat reflection of the children's progress and successes.  Overall, both boys had large accomplishments this year.  We were fortunate to have a wonderful academic staff who not only worked well together as a team but also worked well with the students.  Oliver and Will are such different personalities and yet, each of them had a positive experience in Pre-K.  Once the video was over, the students performed some dances and songs for the parents.  This was truly a riot as I watched these little guys twist and shake and sing.  It was just as amusing to watch all the younger siblings who came to the ceremony mimic their older brothers and sisters.  Carter really enjoyed this portion of the ceremony.  He stood in the back with me dancing through the whole thing. 


Next, the children, one by one, crossed the bridge that signified their advancement into kindergarten.  Each child was supposed to stop halfway and look at their parents for a photo taking opportunity.  Everyone complied with this task....except for Oliver.  When it was his turn, he announced to the class, the teachers, and the parents, that he would be happy to cross the bridge, but his picture was NOT going to be taken.  That's my Ollie!!!  However, I was able to sneak in a blurred snapshot of him at the end when he was receiving his certificate from his teacher.  I take what I can get!

After the serious stuff was completed, we enjoyed ice cream with every kind of topping you could imagine from which to choose.  This was a lengthy process as each child wanted a little bit of everything on their ice cream.  Afterward, the teachers engaged the children in various activity centers.  It was during this time that the younger siblings could participate also.  Will and Ollie enjoyed these centers, but Carter had an absolute blast.  He fit right in with everyone and participated with the fullest amount of enthusiasm. 

Often times when I wonder why our family was led to New Hampshire, I can immediately find the answer.  It is the schools, teachers, and opportunities that my boys are receiving here that reveals the why.  I could not be more pleased with my children's academic resources.  While Beau and I believe that education starts at home, it is nice to have the support, professionalism, and experience that our public school offers in our area.  We are thankful to be in an excellent school system. 

Will and Ollie's teachers did an outstanding job this past year.  It was obvious that they went over and above and truly poured their souls into each child.  Mrs. Langley, Mrs. McWha, and Mrs. McLeod, we love and appreciate you.  Thank you for a wonderful year.

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And the braces are off!!

Today was a monumental day as it was the day that Zander's braces were removed.  14 months ago, he very excitedly had the braces put on his teeth. 

 

May 2012
 



That excitement only lasted for a few hours until he was ready to eat his first meal and realized how much pain he was in or when he had to personally read a a poem in front of his English class and me the next day.  Either way, over the last 14 months he was diligent about staying away from the list of "no no" foods (except for corn chips), he did a pretty good job with keeping his teeth clean, and was patient. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And today, my handsome son stands before me with straight, beautiful teeth.  So worth it! 

July 8, 2013

The orthodontist gave him a box full of candy!!!
And of course, you see who the boys are brown nosing up to....
 

Carter's Adoption Day

We got to celebrate my little Carter, or Carr as I affectionately call him after my dad, yesterday.  It was 2 years ago that Beau and I, along with our family, my parents, Russell and Cami Franklin, and Patty Fogarty entered the courthouse and stood before a judge and legally made Carter a Bennett.  What an extremely joyous occasion after a long roller-coaster of an adoption.

 

Franklins, Nana and Pop, and Patty (Zander was in Nevada)

His adoption was by far, the most eventful and emotional one of the three.  But, in the end, it was worth the ride.  Between our friends and family, Carr was a well loved little guy back in Florida.  We had plenty of support surrounding us and I sure was thankful for everyone.  I lay awake many nights wondering what was going to happen at the next court hearing because each time there was a turn of events that could have changed our lives drastically for good or bad. 

I realize I am not supposed to question God, but I often wonder why He chose our family to raise this ball of energy.  But I also often wonder how incomplete our family would be without him.  He adds a dimension to our family that is both a lot of fun and a lot of work.  Everything Carter does is big.  Big humor, big smile, big temper, big laugh, big singing voice, big stubbornness, big body, and big personality.  Carter starts preschool this upcoming year.  I held him back from Pre-K to give him a chance to learn a classroom setting, learn more structure, and have more time to learn to focus.  I pray for both him and his teachers. 
He will have the same academic staff that Will and Oliver had this past year and I know they will be just the right team to help him be the best Carter he can be. 

These are the ladies that worked to complete Carter's Adoption



My parents, the judge, and our beloved licensing coordinator

Yesterday, we had a quiet day at home just resting.  Well, if truth be known, we were lazy.  Beau and I took turns getting in a little nap.  Beau wasn't feeling well, and I was just lazy.  Later in the evening, we went for a little dinner and the boys wanted to spend their money that Nana and Pop had given to them during their visit last week.  We had a nice time dinner, even though Carter almost fell asleep. 

Sleepy eyes

Two handsome men!!



Not quite sure what he was expecting to see down his straw

His day began yesterday at 4:40 am with singing.  Well, almost every day begins with Carter singing, just not so early.  At the end of dinner, the server complimented the boys' by telling me how well behaved and mannered they had been.  Yes fellow readers, we do have lots of moments where all 6 of us can behave, remember our manners, and sit quietly.  However, food is usually involved.  LOL

We ended the evening with a trip to Target to let each of them pick out some selection with their own money.  Will and Oliver each picked out a Lego Star Wars set (no surprise there).  Carter, on the other hand, had a hard time choosing.  He must have changed his mind a dozen times before he selected a Superman figurine.  He must have been happy with that choice because Carter slept with his figurine last night. 

Carter has been with our family now for almost 4 years and there is never a dull moment..........